Just Because It’s Working Doesn’t Mean It’s Right: How to let go and finally trust yourself

The biggest lesson that I learned from turning 45 to 46 was realizing that I don't create more by doing more. I create more by being more aligned. And that doesn't mean pushing or forcing or all of those heavy feeling type emotions. It means being more aligned, allowing, allowing people to support you, allowing people to show up for you, allowing yourself to pause long enough to check in with your soul and say, is this right for me?

Allowing the universe to do its job. And that's where feminine energy comes in. You're listening to the unblocked woman, the podcast for high achieving women who feel stuck, but know they're meant for more. I'm Amy Sanders, coach, author, speaker, and creator of the unblocked method.

This show is your permission slip and power portal. Each episode helps you see what's holding you back. Shift it. At the root and rise into that self-led magnetic woman that your next level requires.

You're not stuck. You're blocked and that's fixable. Let's get you unblocked. Hello, and welcome back to the podcast.

I'm your host, Amy Sanders, and I'm here with another episode. And today we're talking about this past year because it is my birthday this week. And as we roll over another year, I think it's pretty natural for us as humans to think about how this year went, about where we're going. Think about just, you know, how things are.

And so as I was thinking about what I wanted to share today, I thought about this last year in a way that has been different. This last year has hit me different than most years. And the reason why is because I, through the last number of months, have burned a lot of things down. I have changed a lot of things.

And what it really comes down to is, I stopped holding onto things that were never really mine to carry. This was the year that I truly had to see things that I did not want to see. I didn't want to see things that were going on in my business. There were patterns that I have been holding onto for way too long that it was time to let go of.

And I also had to look at how I was showing up in the relationships that matter most to me. If I'm being honest, it wasn't graceful. It has been very uncomfortable. It has stretched me in ways that I didn't expect to be stretched.

And it has asked me to let go of things I was clinging onto before I was even ready. But it also gave me something that I didn't even know that I was craving. And that was space, alignment, and truth. And I think as women, we are always working hard.

We are always doing our best. But a lot of times, we become misaligned. And we stop working for the good. And we stop our truth.

And we fill up all of our space with things that maybe don't serve us, which is why I want to talk about it today. So what's funny as women is we talk about letting things go like it's empowering. But a lot of times, we don't talk about how confronting it can actually be and fill. Because when you let go of things, this means that you have to admit that something isn't working.

And sometimes that's really scary. It means that you have to see the misalignment clearly enough to actually choose differently and move differently, even when it affects other people. This year, I really had to let go of ways that I was running my business. Even though it looked successful, it didn't feel aligned with me anymore.

And that version of myself that I was operating from was a version of myself that couldn't carry me to the next level that I wanted to move to. And I was still operating with old identities, which is funny. We are always upgrading our identities. And I will talk about this a lot, probably till the end of time.

But even though I coach about this, I found myself still in this place where I was playing smaller, where I wasn't fully speaking up, where I was holding on to certain offers. There was one offer that I have held on to for years. And honestly, it's an amazing offer. It was called Client Sound Repeat.

You might be familiar with it. And it sold fairly well. However, I wasn't attached to it anymore. It was all about a lot of strategy.

And when it comes to my coaching, I don't do... I know the strategy because I'm in the world, but my genius is not there. But that is what I was holding on to. And when I had built such a big program, it was really hard to let go of that.

It was really hard to let go of certain offers that I thought were really cool, but no longer aligned. But when I started letting go of things, what came to me was, I was like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. Just because something is working doesn't mean that it's right for you anymore.

And that's exactly how I felt. I knew that even though things were working, I wasn't attached to it anymore. And one way that you can look and see if you're attached to something is if your heart is not there. If it feels heavy, if it feels like you are lifting something or carrying something so heavy, you're probably not aligned with that anymore.

And so it does not mean that you have to like I did, but it might mean you need to make some adjustments or you might need to look at it differently. But that was a big thing for me because there were things in my business that were working. And for a long time, I thought that the goal was to be fully booked with lots of clients, have a totally packed calendar, constant clients all the time. And I did that this last year.

I had a lot of incredible clients, but I felt like I had no space. That version of success did not feel like freedom to me. And I had to really ask myself, like, what do I actually want? And within my business, there was a couple of clients that stopped making payment plans.

And that's always not easy to swallow, right? Especially when you like love your clients and you can't necessarily force them to pay and you love working with them and you want to see them show up. But I had to hold my standard of like, if you're not paying, then you can't have these appointments. But what it also did was it freed up some of the space for me to use that time differently.

And I realized I really liked that. What I realized was if I had fewer, more aligned offers, I had more spaciousness in my calendar, which means that I had more time to create and more room to build what I actually loved, which is what also led to the Unblocked Woman, the Unblocked Method. What I am doing now around Unblocked, I had space and room because some of the clients I had to let go of. That's when everything shifted for me.

Like having that space really made a difference. So I stopped asking myself, like, what should I be doing? And I started asking myself, like, what actually is aligned for the woman that I'm becoming? And I could see it.

I could see like what I wanted to envision and what I wanted to create. But it was, I actually, being that woman that could do that. Was I holding my standard? Was I showing up in my power?

So this year I created something totally new. I created a platform that is completely rooted in what I love most, which is helping women see clearly themselves, helping them understand their patterns and helping them make clean moves to where they can stop repeating the same patterns over and over and feeling crazy town. And I helped them do that, not from force, but from alignment. And it feels so much better.

As women, we don't need more information. You have all the information. You are doing the work. What we need is reflection.

What we need is truth and to move from that truth. What we need is to see what's actually going on so that we can shift it so that we can do things differently. And this year I really deepened into understanding myself in a different way, in a way that serves me better. And it was not just in mindset, but identity.

I have been doing identity work for a very long time. I've been coaching on it within my one-on-one clients and sessions, but I decided to do deeper dives on myself, understanding my Enneagram number, my human design, my emotional authority, all of my patterns, as I was bringing stuff down and recreating things and shifting and letting go of certain clients and creating the collective and everything else. What I saw, was that I don't struggle because I don't know what to do. I always know what to do.

That's not the problem. Where I learned that I struggled the most was that I won't trust myself enough to do it. Like I don't have that deep self-trust that I'm making the best decision for my business. And as Nanny and Graham ate, control feels safe.

But control isn't alignment at all. In order to be in alignment, you need to learn how to soften into trusting yourself, trusting the timing of everything, and trusting that you will receive what you need to receive. And that has been one of the biggest shifts of my life is trusting other people to help me and support me, trusting in myself that I do know the best decisions for my business, and trusting in timing that the right people will find me. And that the right people will do this work.

The biggest lesson that I learned from turning 45 to 46 was realizing that I don't create more by doing more. I create more by being more aligned. And that doesn't mean pushing or forcing or all of those heavy feeling type emotions. It means being more aligned, allowing.

Allowing people to support you, allowing people to show up for you, allowing yourself to pause long enough to check in with your soul and say, is this right for me? Allowing the universe to do its job. And that's where feminine energy comes in. I have been trained and conditioned for so many years to work harder, push harder, money's hard to get.

All of this conditioning that I have had throughout the years was completely going against me. And I've been doing it for so many years. my divine feminine energy. And I want to be clear.

Feminine energy is not doing nothing and waiting for things to just fall in your lap for things to like fall out of the sky. And now like you are in total abundance living happily ever after. It's not about sitting back and just like hoping things will happen. Aligned action is action, right?

Aligned action is like you are actually doing the things, but you also are trusting the process. It means that you're being deeply connected to yourself. You're moving from a clean place, clean energy. It feels good.

That does not mean it's not uncomfortable. You can move from a place of clean energy and still feel discomfort, but it feels open. It feels spacious. It feels right.

Feminine energy means that you're receiving instead of forcing the outcome, which has been really hard for me with the way I've been doing this. I've been doing this for a long time. I was raised as well as being in and around eight and trusting instead of controlling, trusting the process, trusting that you will meet the right people, trusting that the opportunities will land in your lap, trusting that you are doing enough. God knows that we are doing enough, but we need to know that we are doing enough.

Like you don't have to keep pushing so hard because when you act from this place of feminine energy, you will attract what you're available for. I know. I'm going to say that a little differently because I think it's important. What you attract is a reflection of what you are available for.

So look at what you were attracting and see what shows up for you. Get really real. And if you're listening to this and you're like, okay, I feel this, but how do I actually do it? There are a few ways that I want it, or just a few things that I've listed that I think are a good place to start.

The first thing is stop overriding yourself. You know, the answer, if something feels off, honor it. Your power is in honoring that feeling. If it feels off, guess what it is, it's off.

And you know, your inner knowing is so incredibly intelligent and wise. Listen to her. She knows best for you and she will make sure that you are supported. Another thing that you can do is make clean decisions.

You can make clean decisions. You can faster. Feminine energy doesn't sit in confusion. It chooses, then adjusts if needed.

So move quickly. And guess what? If you make a mistake, that's fine. But if that's the energy, or if that's like the decision you decided to make, decide it and move.

You can always adjust. You can always pivot. You can always make that slight change, but just move. Feminine energy doesn't sit in confusion.

Another one that I wanted to bring to you is create space, in your life. You cannot receive when you're overfilled. Your calendar matters more than you think. If you have a calendar that is jam-packed and you have no space, it's going to be really hard receiving anything.

Which for me is funny that I put this down because the last number of weeks, we have been so packed, grinding so hard, which is contradicting to what I'm talking about. I know. And I have felt that pressure because I started living more in alignment. I felt that pressure of not being able to receive because I have overfilled my calendar.

This is a temporary thing as we're trying to launch this incredible product that I am so, so, so excited about. Keep listening because we are going to reveal it soon. But sometimes your life ebbs and flows, right? And sometimes you do have a more overpacked calendar.

So I have chosen this to get a certain product out the door. But I have also noticed that my capacity receive has not been where it needs to be because I haven't allowed space in my calendar. So look at your calendar and ask yourself, do you have space to receive in your calendar? Another thing on my list is let things be easy.

Not everything needs to be hard in order to be valuable. My husband and I were talking the other night. He is a genius when it comes to everything data. And yes, both of us can never turn off our entrepreneur brain.

But he saw this product that is really needed in the data world. And he was like, can it really be this easy? It's like, yeah, things don't always have to be hard. Things can be easy.

But everything needs to be hard in order to be valuable. Ease is not laziness. It's actually alignment. So when you are aligned, when you are moving in the direction that you need to be moving in, you need to be able to do it.

And when you are moving in the direction that you need to be moving in, according to your true self, even if you're working hard, a lot of times it feels fun. Like you cannot turn it off. Like you love it and you just keep going. He has been so excited about all of this AI stuff that he cannot turn it off.

I have to like pull him away to spend time with him because he just is fascinated on everything that he could do with this. Everything that's coming out with the AI. He is in complete alignment with what his soul loves because it's so aligned with how he functions, everything that he loves to do. New technology, new ways of doing things.

And he's a learner. So like all of this is so up his alley and he has been completely consumed by it. And it doesn't feel hard, even though he's working like crazy hours. It feels really fun to him.

And it's been fun for me to see him be so excited about something because it's in alignment with what his soul loves to do. So it's been really fun. Again, like I said, easiness, if things feel easy, that does not mean that you're being lazy. It means that you're probably lying.

Trust your timing. You are not behind. So often, I don't even know how many coaching sessions I have had with women where they come up to me and they talk about how they feel so behind in their lives. Well, she's this far.

How come I'm not this far yet? Trust your timing. You are not aligned if you are rushing, but you are not behind. You're exactly where you need to be.

Trust your timing, that everything that needs, to be revealed, will be revealed to you in your own timing. When you feel rushed, you are out of alignment. So let go of feeling rushed. When you feel excited, when you feel like totally jazzed and turned on, that is when you are in alignment.

When you feel like you have all the energy to keep going, that is when you feel like you're in alignment. I have a few more things on my list. The next one is release control. Even when it's uncomfortable, this has been the hardest thing for me to do.

Control. Control feels powerful, but trust is where your real power is. When you move from trust, things do get to feel easier. When you move from control, it can feel like pressure.

So even though control can feel powerful, a lot of times it actually holds you back from what you can accomplish when you move from trust. The more you can trust yourself, the further you're going to be able to go in your life. The longer you can trust yourself, the more you're going to be able to go in your life. The last one I have is ask yourself, what would feel most aligned right now?

And don't overthink it. When I say aligned, what I mean is that you feel open, that you feel expansive, that you feel like this is the move. It doesn't mean that you're asking yourself, what's the smartest move? What is the most productive move for me today?

I'm asking you to ask yourself, what is the most aligned move today? If you feel jazzed, if you feel excited, if you feel like there's something that you cannot turn off, that's probably your alignment little signal saying, hey, listen. So in closing, as I look at this year, if I could sum up this last year in one sentence, it would literally be that I have become the woman who trusts herself enough to let go, enough to let go of programs that I had for years, enough to let go of opening my schedule to where I have to go. I have more room that feels more expansive, and I'm able to have better connections with my family because I have more time to do so.

And by doing this, by trusting myself enough to let go of things that no longer serve me has changed everything. So as I step into 46 and you step into your next chapter, I want you to also focus on not doing more, but focus on being who you actually are. And that's the... That's the commitment I've made to myself is that I'm not going to focus on more and more and more.

I'm going to focus on being more of who I actually am because that is always enough. And if you're in a season where things just fell off, where maybe you're holding on to something that you know that you've outgrown, I want this podcast episode to be your permission to also let go and know that the universe has you. God is going to carry you. You don't...

If you need to push harder or be more full of effort, what you need is more truth, alignment, integrity, the things that help you stay the course, and then just the courage to choose it, to know that you are supported and if this still is aligned to move forward. Now, last thing I'm going to add is if you are, let's say you're bringing something down and you're stepping into something full of faith. Sometimes it takes the universe. Some time to come with you.

So if you're an entrepreneur and you're pivoting, if things feel heavy in the beginning, like they feel like they are right, but they feel like you're not getting clients as soon as you want, or maybe it's moving a little bit slower, know that it takes the universe a second to catch up with it. You, when you pivot, you can't expect everything to just like follow you. If you create a new offer, it's going to take a little bit of time for everyone to see this offer and then start to trust it. So trust the process.

And have the courage to choose the truth, to choose yourself, to choose you last, but not least, if you want support and actually seeing your patterns and making those clean moves in real time, make sure that you join the collective. The collective is an amazing space and the women in there are incredible. So in closing, if you feel like this was helpful, make sure you share it with one of your friends. Make sure you also subscribe to the channel as we grow it.

I'm going to be dropping more episodes. This interview ain't fire women, and I would love for you to hear it all. So if you have anything else you also would like to add, make sure you make a comment so we can serve you. Hope you have a great week.

Thanks for listening to the unblocked woman. Listen, you don't rise by waiting. You rise by leading. So if this episode sparked a shift, send it to a woman who needs to hear next.

And if you're ready to go deeper, join the unblocked woman collective or begin the unblocked method at amysanders. co. And remember, see it. Shift it.

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