Defining Success After 40+

Where are you right now? Where do you want to be? And what are those small little steps? And especially with visibility, I always tell my clients, we always think, I guess, especially if you're an entrepreneur, we are, our solopreneurs, it's our business, but it doesn't mean that you have to start becoming more visible alone.

Do a video with someone else, go on a podcast with someone else where you're just a guest and the host has to technically do all the work, you just show up. So finding other ways to become visible where it's not just you want to take the pressure off of you. And honestly, it's so much more fun when you're with someone else and doing what it is that we're doing right now and just having a conversation. Welcome to the Thrive Her podcast.

I'm your host, Amy Sanders. I'm a fitness and wellness pro, mom, step-mom, second wife, and master certified life coach. I'm here to help you manage your mind, so you can uncover the most potent version of yourself and create a thriving life you love. Hello, hello, everyone.

Welcome back to the podcast. I'm your host, Amy Sanders, and I have a special guest here with me today. She is an entrepreneur at heart, just like myself. And she's had her own ups and downs.

Her name's Danielle Jaworski, and she helps women who are 40 years old and older. Guess what? If you are, over the age of 40, your life is not over. You actually can still do a lot of things.

And so we are going to talk about that. And we're going to talk about all like the just, you know, different struggles that she's been through and all the different things. So welcome, welcome to the podcast. I'm excited to have you here and to learn from you.

So welcome. Can you tell us a little bit more about you, Danielle? Absolutely. First of all, thank you, Amy, so much for having me on the show.

Really excited to be here and to talk about, yeah, this whole thing about, 40 and finding fulfillment after 40. Cause for me, like literally it was on my 40th birthday where my husband was coming out, he's brushing his teeth and he looked at me and I was on websites looking for a job. And he looked at me, I looked at him and I had tears streaming down my face. And I said, I cannot do this anymore.

The career path that I was on was no longer serving me or my family. And I was at the point where I just said, I needed to just stop, take a break. I was the common denominator in everything that was challenging in my life of my career. And I said, okay, I needed to pause.

I'm very grateful. My husband said, okay, not knowing what it was going to look like, but that became this whole journey of self-discovery and visibility and really finding fulfillment after 40 and really stepping into understanding who I truly am. Yeah. Okay.

So tell us what you did before and then what you do now, because they are very different. Very different. Yes. Yeah.

So I graduated when my twenties, I graduated with a degree in microbiology. I actually started my career off in a microbiology lab in a food manufacturing industry. Love. I love that.

I love the science analytical stuff, micro like little bugs and bacteria. Love it. Not a lot of women will say they love that kind of stuff. So it's amazing.

We need you. Thank you. So yeah, I was very coming out of school. It was, I had a career plan in my twenties and one of my classes, I remember being kind of asked what this career plan would be for yourself.

And I thought, okay, by 40, I want to have a manager title and I wanted to make a certain amount of money. Off I went, I kind of forgot about that goal that I had set for myself. And I became, I had a very logical career path for like basically up until almost 40. And as I got closer to that, so my background is manufacturing, quality, production, compliance, trade, like everything.

That's what I did. As I got closer to 40, though, something shifted, something changed at a time. I couldn't put my, my finger on it, but the harder I worked, the harder work got. And literally again, it was on my 40th birthday.

I said, I can't do this anymore. A week later, I resigned and became like really started on this journey of discovering who am I? What is it that I truly want to do in this life? What kind of impact do I want to have?

And that led me to becoming an entrepreneur for the first time, failing in that business because I was so afraid of putting myself out there, being visible, sharing my opinion. I didn't even know who I was at that time as well, let alone being an entrepreneur. So I had such a hard time talking about myself, showing up. And as an entrepreneur, as you know, if you can't be seen and heard, you can't get found and hired.

So I had to return. I had to return to corporate after about two and a half years. Which at the end of the day became the best decision ever. It was the catalyst to me really wanting to connect the challenges that women have in their careers to the solutions that women entrepreneurs provided.

And I got over my fear of cameras, of being visible when I created, and then I pitched and then hosted a TV show for three years on a local TV network here, just outside of Toronto. It was called the C-suite. Yeah. And I really felt, I believed that women needed to get connected to each other because we had support.

We have services to all these solutions women were having in their careers, their businesses. And I thought, what if I could do this and what impact could I have on the lives of other women who are struggling in their business or their careers, if I could just get over this fear of putting myself out there. It was great. Loved it.

And that really has brought me to where I am today, where I focus on mindset and visibility coaching for women specifically. Yeah. Because like you said at the beginning, life isn't over 40 and the women I'm working with who are 40 plus, they're almost feeling like they're almost more alive after 40. They just don't know what that is and then how to take that step towards exploring what it is and then actually creating what it is that they imagine that they want.

It's so amazing. So you struggled with visibility and then you got over your own fear, hosted a TV show, or I guess you can call it show, right? Yes. Where you're very visible and then you coach people how to do it.

Amazing. And okay. So just yesterday I was talking to my husband and we were talking about, I don't even know why we said this, but I was like, like, what age do you think you're going to die? He's like, why are you asking me this?

But he's, you know, he's like early eighties. I was like, okay. You know? And he's like, what about you?

And I started thinking about it. I was like, Hmm, if it is early eighties, I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I'm super goober.

I'm going to die. So like, Erin, I was going to say that, and then I did a kind of countdown. And then you did a countdown and then you did a countdown. And I was like, okay, this is cool.

Like a sit-up podcast. Which I thought was cool. And what point am I on anything now? And it doesn't matter what the wedding look was like, like my, my, um, prior ceremony, you know, I will be like, this broke up, you know?

Yeah. You know, because it says maybe not that way but I'm like, myself. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. had this life experience where you're starting to really question like wait is there more for me what does really fulfill me I think so many women go through that around this time in their life so it's amazing that you're doing what you're doing and focusing on that demographic thank you and it wasn't it was interesting because that demographic it wasn't obvious for me at the very beginning and because when I did my first my first business it was just I like really I tried something and I tried to be visible I would do workshops we whole online world didn't exist the same way back you know in 2015 to 2017 and so I do a workshop and it no one would show up and no one would sign up so I thought okay well I failed at that so I'm going to try something different and it just became this well I kept shifting and changing because well this one thing didn't work so obviously something's wrong with me or what I'm doing so I'll keep shifting and changing it wasn't until I stepped out of corporate the second time that you know I was able to do that and I was able to do that and I was able to do that and I was able to do that and I was already hosting the show at that point in time when I just started looking at at who I really wanted to serve and it became that for me when I was like when I was heading into 40 I knew I was trying to avoid that day pretend it didn't happen that 40th birthday and I was planning on being out of town on a trip and I had to be in town for it and I feel like it was just this pivotal moment where I looked at myself really again tears streaming down my face it says there's got to be more there's got to be more to life than what is happening right now and I think that's what I'm trying to do and I think that's what I'm trying to do and I think now I was tired of crying at my computer in my office having to close the door I was tired of being tired I'm tired of everything being hard I thought why is going what is going on and it's interesting because I had felt for years leading up to 40 that I I know this is my life and I'm obviously living it but it didn't feel like my life which is so odd to say and so when I made a decision to step out and now doing the business now I'm like I'm not going to do it again I'm not going to do it again I'm not going to do it and now I want to help other women realize that again yeah we we have this idea of who we need to be or who we should be at 40 especially when you're looking at the corporate world because well 40 is 25 more years to 65 or retirement age here in Canada and now I look at it say well now I don't I don't want to retire because it's this whole different mindset but I had to go through this journey of really looking at myself asking myself the hard questions and being able to go down that path exploring about what's going on what it is that I truly want out of life. What is it working? What can I try?

And then at the end of the day became, well, I want to help other women transform how they see themselves, how they're showing up to in front of others, whether it be their career or their business to truly create that impact, the influence or the income that they imagine that they want to have and create at this point in their life. Yeah. What do you think is the thing or series of things that keep women from doing it? They have the, they have like the little, like inkling, like, okay, I want, I want this, but then they don't go for it.

Yeah. Great question. When I did a lot of market research, creating my coaching programs, a lot, it became what what's holding you back from putting yourself out there consistently. Number one is appearance.

How I look, how I sound, my environment behind me and my background. Number two is confidence for me, confidence. We're looking, when we're focusing on confidence, we're focusing on the wrong thing. Confidence is an outcome of taking courageous action.

And for me, the root and where we need to focus is more on belief, believing that we can make a change, believe in that what it is that we imagine is possible, believing that we have the skillset to support, or even sometimes the pure passion and drive to create something and do something really, really different. And then believing in ourselves more than anybody else. By the time but and believe can be I think that you can believe in yourself, you can believe in the outcome you're trying to achieve, or even at the very beginning, believing in someone else's belief in you. Because that sometimes is enough to push past a little bit of fear to start down that path to truly pursuing and discovering what it is that you are wanting and looking for at this time in your life.

Yeah, so good. When you were saying these, I was like, a lot of times they need they need someone to believe in them. And then you said at the end, like, because, because belief is sometimes the hardest thing, or a lot of times, it's the hardest thing, right? Can I really do this?

Okay, this thing is good, what I want to create? I believe in that. But can I do it? Who am I to do this?

Exactly? Who am I? That's for someone else, the lucky people. It becomes a lot of times to when I work with clients, we think big, we go big, what is it that end goal you're really trying to create, that in itself can then become overwhelming, because then the self doubt comes in the worries that the real I can't do this, the fears that it becomes, you don't need to believe in that big outcome at the very beginning.

Can you do believe the next step in your ability to take that next step? So take that big goal you have this dream that you have, and reverse engineer back to where you are today. And then just just have to have a little bit of belief again, just need to believe needs to be just a little bit more than the fear. Yeah, you take the next step.

And then the next one, and then the next one. Yeah, I, I was taught this analogy, I don't even remember somebody, I don't remember who it was, but you have a road. So say you're driving across the country, and there is, the road is dark, and all you can see is like the yellow line in the middle. Yeah, as long as you're following the road, and you'll, you only really can see however many feet ahead, like however far those lights are shining out as far as you can see, right.

But if you keep driving, you're going to get to your destination, you just have to keep going, and you don't really know. So same things like that one step, that one step, when the belief that you can at least do this next piece. So let's talk about visibility. Because this is a lot of women get hung up, right?

They're like, so scared to get online. I know that even for me, I've been doing it for a long time. And I still have that coming up, like, Oh, did I say the right thing? Or am I going to say the right thing?

I speak a lot of slang, I don't sound professional all the time. Now, I don't care. But a lot of times that will hold people back enough to not get up. on, you know, so visibility, what does that look like?

How can women be more visible? It's different in the day? Good question. But it's different for everybody.

Yeah, that's what I talk about. Like, that's why there's so many different marketing strategies and different technology and apps that you can use to become more visible. Because what works for you may not work for someone else at this stage in their career or their business and their visibility journey. We're all on this journey, understanding where are you right now?

Where do you want to be from a visibility perspective? And again, what is that next step that you can take? So it could be my end goal is to do a live conversation for me, like, oh, live, because if you make a mistake, that's it, you can't edit it out. That was huge for me to work towards.

But it became, okay, I'm going to start with just doing a short video. And then I worked my way up to a longer video. And then I would go on podcasts where there was no video, and then podcasts like yours, where there is video. And it's just a long video, but it's a long video, and it's a long video.

And it's just a long video. And it's a long video. about creating like all those steps believing myself taking these courageous actions and then each step you take an action you take create is what the outcome is the confidence that okay I can go to a live stream and then for me to have the conversation is one thing figuring out the tech is something as you know right talk no problem why but then the tech is a whole other issue but that becomes a whole other learning stream as well and again breaking it down how can I safely step out and use the tech to have a live conversation so for visibly it comes down to an understanding where again where are you right now where do you want to be and what are those small little steps and especially with visibility I always tell my clients you we always think I guess especially if you're an entrepreneur we are our solopreneurs it's our business but it doesn't mean that you have to start becoming more visible alone do a video with someone else go on a podcast with someone else where you're just a guest and the host has to technically you do all the work you just have to show up so finding other ways to become visible where it's not just you want to take the pressure off of you and honestly it's so much more fun when you're with someone else and doing what it is we're doing right now and just having a conversation totally when I record with someone like you any guests I love having guests I'm like this is so much more fun than when I'm doing it by myself I'm like talking by myself so how important do you think visibility is in today's world I think it's really important especially as business owners because for visibility and again visibility for me is being able to put yourself out there where you are seen and heard that you can be found and hired to do what it is that you feel called to do visibility is important but it's more showing up as who you are there's lots of ways to be visible there's a lot of people telling you oh you should do this this is the next next trend and people do it some people get success and then you don't like well why why didn't it work for me or sometimes you can be visible and you can be visible and you can be visible and it doesn't feel good when I talk about visibility with clients it becomes okay what is that angle you want to get to and then but every step that you take what feels good to you what does visibility mean to you or what is that definition for you so that every step that you take it feels aligned when you feel aligned you feel like it's you showing up as you whether it be like I've got my gray hair showing today I didn't dye my hair I'm like you know I'm okay with that because I'm showing up as me other times it'll be but being under understanding who is it that you want to show up as who you are today and realizing that as you grow in your visibility as you grow in your personal growth in your business everything's going to shift and change but you have to start where you are today whatever that is however you look and realizing that your audience really doesn't care the ones who truly care and connecting with your message of what it is that you do don't care what your instagram background is if it's not you know pretty kitchen or whatever it happens to be what your hair is looking like because they're connecting with that message because you're speaking directly to them and their heart and their pain points and their challenges and you're providing them with solutions and really tactical steps that they can take to overcome them that's what they're truly connecting with you for and those people that you want to really follow you again the hard piece is that there's lots of noise out there as well but it's becoming if you could stay true to yourself and who you are and allow that to guide you and that's what you're doing and that's what you're doing and that's what you're doing whatever stuff you take is going to feel good and when it feels good to show up you'll you get to show up you'll want to show up and when you show up people are going to know even if you're a little bit nervous that it's you you shining through at the end of the day yeah yeah such good pointers thank you i know i know that when it comes to entrepreneurship a lot of times we do chase that like shiny object you talked about it earlier right like i'm gonna try this oh it didn't work and i did it one time so now i'm gonna try this it didn't work i'm you know so we we chase the shiny object instead of just sticking to the course like what is the message that you want to share who do you want to share it with and the one what's your avenue and then just go do it and do it over and over and guess what in the beginning there might not be that many people that are viewing it but if you keep going and if you keep staying the course speaking from your own heart people are going to feel that they're going to feel it they're going to love it they're going to resonate with you and i love that you're like guess what it doesn't matter what your background looks like how often do we like we're like we're like we're like we're like we're like we're like we're like really look at people's background yeah that does not mean that you're like a professional if your background like if your background isn't perfect you're not a professional it's not what that means you can grow into it or you can change over time realizing that where you are today is not where you have to stay and you're in to have a growth mindset it's not going to be where you stay it's just it is where it's that starting place where in six months and a year you can look back at your your profile feed and your photos and say oh my goodness look how much i've grown i've changed i remember my first tv episode we actually it was in a tv studio we filmed it i have no background in broadcasting media or being a tv host i had no idea what i was doing microbiologist to tv host microbiologist that's right that's right it became this when i go back and i look at that season one episode one guest one oh my god like i kind of cringed to me i look back and it's painful the flip side though is the fact that oh my goodness look at me now where back then i was struggling to ask the question of the person city across for me just hold this conversation with all these cameras and figuring that out now again we're doing live conversations and i'm just going to flow and it's okay so it's more looking back and just realizing that you're going to look back we have to start somewhere it's going to be uncomfortable because you're doing something new and there's a difference between uncomfortable because it's not aligned and uncomfortable because it's just something but it's still aligned so good so good if it's uncomfortable because it's not aligned then you're going to know it your gut's going to tell you your heart's going to tell you you actually do know it you're like this doesn't feel good because it doesn't feel like it's me but anything new there's going to be some sort of discomfort if you're pushing yourself to a higher level like there's always going to be discomfort we talk about this all the time but it's okay and we don't die from feeling a little uncomfortable we actually just get stronger that's where confidence comes from yes right like when we move through the discomfort and we do the scary thing on the other side you're like i'm amazing i'm awesome i did it and i lived through it i lived through it it was okay i i did a live and i came off it and guess what my heart's still beating and i'm so glad that's done even if there was mistakes people actually like the mistakes because it's authentic yeah yes exactly exactly and that's why i talk a lot about i call it hashtag visibility truth where when i was you know my first time in business it became you're doing all these things and no one's talking about the realities of what it looks like it feels like to go on that visibility journey where you have your first webinar and nobody signs up what do you like that is the reality especially as a new entrepreneur growing your business total reality it's these secrets though that we keep hidden because it comes sometimes with a place of shame i know when i did my again that's those first bit first business ideas no one showed up period i'm like okay well i'm not to say anything to anyone. So I'll just do something new.

And I kept it hidden because there was shame around, oh, well, what's wrong with me? I didn't do something right. I'm not enough. And I would start badgering myself and say, well, I didn't do this, this, and this.

I could have done this. Well, instead of going back to that place of failure, I'll just try something new. And then I failed at that again, because no one showed up again. So it wasn't getting to the core of what I needed to do to be more visible and get over those fears.

But that's the reality of a new business owner. So I like to talk about these visibility truths to just help share. It could be spilling the tea or just really sharing the secrets that exist so that when you do your first webinar and no one shows up, that's pretty normal. I'm a year out in.

I had a webinar. No one signed up. I still did the webinar because it was still practice. And those webinars are so much more fun because no one's watching.

So you get to have a lot more fun and energy. And then record it for yourself if you want to, or you can have you record it to create little clips afterwards. But the reality is of becoming visible. If we don't talk about them, then everyone still has the doubts, the worries, the fears, the self-judgment.

So really bringing those out into the open to let people know this is normal. You're not the only one and let's learn and grow together. I don't know why more people don't do that. Actually.

I think if all of us were just very like honest about it, like what it looked like in the beginning and the fact that all of us are on different journeys. And when we pivot, which entrepreneurs do, right. When we pivot, then that changes things too. But yeah, if we just said, this is how it is like, guess what?

You did your webinar. You did it. If there was zero people on that's okay. If there's one person on that's amazing.

It's amazing. Yes. If it's one, yeah. It's one person gets you get, they get one-on-one value from you.

How phenomenal is that for that one person? Yeah. It's amazing. So it's like, don't ever discount when you look at other things with, I think social media is it's so skewed.

Like we think that people with like a ton of followers, maybe they're not even coaches or entrepreneurs or whatever. That means that they're making all of the money because they have all the followers. It's like, that doesn't necessarily mean that. And then going live, you know, if you don't have a lot of people watching, you don't know who's going to watch that later.

You don't know what that content is going to do later. You don't even know like that webinar that you might record and use it later. Like all of it can still help you. It's all helping you.

Even if not, you're not going to be able to do it. You're no one watched it in the beginning. You got practice. You got experience.

I don't know. Anyway, as we're talking about all the things, okay. So visibility is super important. So what would you tell the woman who has that earning, like that yearning desire to do more?

She's like, just not settled. She has an idea, but it's scary. What would you tell her right now? Oh, the perfect fact that if you have an idea that is scary and you're excited at the same time, that's a gift.

Because so many people don't even allow themselves to think that way to, to get them that, that space to say what daydream. And then think of what if I could have anything in the world, what would that be? What would my life look like? What's my business or my career look like?

And then not discount it. And then it becomes, what is it that you want? Or what would you like to invite more of into your life, your career, your business? Okay.

Where are you right now? And realizing that it could be a very big, but when you are excited and scared at the same time, that's this beautiful sweet spot because you are emotionally connected to the outcome that you're imagining, but you're scared because it's so far outside of what you know today and what you believe you can do that there's fear, but that fear equals growth. It becomes, think of all the growth that you get to do. And at the end of the day, there's a lot of fear though, around how the, how that's the biggest stopper is, well, I don't know how to take that next step.

And that's where, when I work, I've got this big goal. How do we get there? It's okay. One step at a time and realizing that the bigger, the belief, the larger, the leap.

So we can, we can take leaps and what looks like leaps from other people, but you have to have a bigger belief, which means that you're accepting risk more. You're just moving forward at a much faster pace or some people it's okay. If you just take those little like ladder steps, or if you're playing hot stuff, pop gods, you're just going from square one to square two. That's okay.

But realizing that we're all on our own personal journeys, try not to look externally to see what everyone else is doing and how fast everyone is perceived to be moving. But I'm saying, what is it that you want? Are you excited? Are you afraid?

That's a beautiful, sweet spot. It's a beautiful thing to have. And then look, understand where are you right now? Where do you want to be?

What is that next step? And if you need to realize that you don't have to do it alone, there's lots of people out there that can help you get clear on the vision, to help believe in you until you believe in yourself as much as they do to keep taking those steps towards what it is that you want. So good. One step at a time, guys, just like driving across the country that are follow the yellow line.

Just keep going one step at a time. Okay. So you have a few different programs that you offer, right? You have a few different coaching programs.

Tell us more about those. Someone's like, how do I work with her? How do I get in contact? Where would you send them?

Awesome. I would say, well, first of all, if you're just starting to explore this whole idea about becoming more visible in your career or your business, I have an online course that's self-study, and it takes you through all these different steps of really understanding what is it you want, getting clarity on that, understanding why that is important to you. Having these emotional connections to that outcome helps to become that internal motivators. When obstacles happen, when life happens, and you get sometimes a little bit derailed or feel like you're taking a step back, that internal or intrinsic motivator keeps you moving forward again and taking that next step.

And it really starts looking at what does visibility mean to you? What does that vision look like? Do it having some mindset techniques as well, and really breaking down some visibility truths about when you're going to step out in your career, your business, what are some pros and cons? And again, not everyone's going to be following you for the right reasons.

So being very open and honest about when you're showing up and being visible, how do you create boundaries around that? Where do you want to be visible? And understanding too, that sometimes being invisible is exactly what you need at that point in time. So starting off online course, self-study, that helps you to start discovering and exploring who you are and what it is that you want.

And if you want to take that bigger, bolder step, then I have a larger six-month coaching program for that. Amazing. Okay. We have that information in the show notes as well.

So make sure you guys are checking that out. So what would be your last little nugget of wisdom you want to share with our audience before we part ways? The biggest is a lot of times when I work with a lot of women, it becomes, well, they're comparing and the I'm too old. I'm over 40.

I'm too old. I don't look like what influencers look like right now. There's this idea that influencers are in their twenties or thirties. They become, well, I'm 40.

I'm too old. I'm too old to learn something new. I'm too old to start something over. I'm too old to take that risk because I've got mortgages.

I've got savings. I've got savings, but we're in Canada. So we have the things like income tax and our savings and our benefits and all those things are your business. And it becomes, I can't, how can I do this when older?

And just realizing that over 40, it doesn't mean like, to me, you can start your life over, or you can really shift and change and start that next phase of your journey at any age. And that for me, I believe women over 40, we have all this experience. We've got this wisdom that if we're keeping it, we're going to be able to do it. And I think that's the biggest thing.

And I think that's to ourselves, who's struggling behind us, who's struggling around us. If we are keeping what it is that we know in our own life experience to ourselves. So if we're, if you're over 40 and you're fearing, how do I do that? You're fearing that next step or you're fearing or believing that, that, that next step isn't for me.

I can't possibly do that. Realize that where you are is not where you have to stay. The bigger the belief, the larger the leap. And you can go from fear to being fulfilled.

It just, it's all about one, take one step at a time, one day at a time, and just surrounding yourself with people. I call it a team of believers, people who believe in you, who can help lift you up when you need it. And then who are there congratulating and cheering you on when you're soaring. They're the best kind of people to have in your life.

Think about your life right now, guys, look at who you're talking to. Do you have those believers in your life that believe in you no matter what that are there for you? They want to see you succeed. Cause there's going to be the naysayers.

Always. That always happens. What you want to do? What that's crazy.

You know? So yeah, that's not logical, but it's what you want. Yeah. I mean, you wouldn't have that idea or that, that idea, that dream that excites you and gets you scared at the same time.

If it wasn't truly, I truly believe that that's your, I'm like your soul calling that inner knowing calling. You wouldn't have that idea if it wasn't meant to be totally go after it. Where's Danielle? Danielle, thank you so much.

Go after it, go be visible, go achieve that dream. Go start it now. Do it. If you need help, you have her, you have me.

You also have other people I'm sure that can help you along the way. So her information is in the show notes. If you guys want to contact her, the information's below and we will see you guys next week. Bye.

This is where we do real coaching and inner work transformation. I teach you how to apply the strategies and mindset tools we talk about here on the podcast. So you can unlock your true potential and create the life you love. For more info, go to amysanders.

co forward slash thrive dash camp. Again, that's amysanders. co forward slash thrive dash camp. Let's get to work and thrive together.

Amysanders. co forward slash thrive dash camp.