Doing It Afraid

I've seen a lot of ugly, I've seen a lot of screaming, I've seen a lot of crying, I've seen a lot of abuse, and I was able to see the other side that it's not in vain. So all those ladies that have been through those things and have experienced some or all of those things, your life isn't in vain. You didn't get this far to get this far and not go anywhere. Your story, your pain has a purpose, to be a blessing to someone else, to teach somebody else, to reach somebody else.

And I think that's what purpose is about, is to help other people as you go, like a barter system. Welcome to the Thrive Her podcast. I'm your host, Amy Sanders. I'm a fitness and wellness pro, mom, stepmom, second wife, and master certified life coach.

I'm here to help you manage your mind so you can uncover the most potent version of yourself and create a thriving life you love. Welcome back to the podcast, everybody. My name is Amy Sanders. I'm your host, and I'm excited for you guys to be tuning in.

Thank you for tuning in. I always love sharing inspirational stories, hoping to be light to you guys and also show you how to thrive in your life. And today I have a perfect example of that. Her name is Dr.

Shantae Destiny. She served in the U. S. Navy for over 20 years.

She is a retired veteran who's also a wounded warrior. We're going to talk about that. She's a criminal justice expert. She's a best-selling author.

She's a speaker. She is basically all of the things that a lot of people are scared to do, and she's done them. In fact, her book is literally called Doing It Afraid. So welcome to the podcast.

I'm so excited to have you. I'm so excited to have you here and just the juicy topic that we're going to talk about, finding your purpose and your destiny and just diving in. So welcome, welcome. Thank you.

Glad to be here. It's exciting. I've never had someone from the military on the podcast before. So I want to just dive in and ask you more about your story.

Just, yeah, you're a mom, too. You're a lot of things, right? You wear a lot of hats. Tell me a little bit about your journey.

And to becoming, like, a veteran, and then also what that experience was like for you. All right. I'll start somewhere in the intermediate middle. Perfect.

Her 9-11 was yesterday, and that's a very impactful day for me. Yeah. Along with it being September 11th, I'm from Long Island, New York. So I grew up with my mom.

She raised me on her own. My father wasn't in the picture. And so it was just mom and I. But I also had two older brothers.

One served in the Marines. The other served in the Army. So I'm a little sister. Don't leave me.

I want to do it, too. I'm going to do it. Exactly. So my main draw to the military was for the patriotic part of it, as far as serving.

It wasn't enough for me to just talk about 9-11, because it was very fresh 23 years ago. It was very shocking to see the towers go down and see people's reaction. At the time, I was a 401 operator. So I heard a lot of those calls of, of detriment and fear and disaster in parents' voices and moms and dads.

And it was a hectic time, but we had to keep a cool head. I had no idea what was going on until I saw it on television myself. But days were going by, and I was like, I really have a sense of urgency of being a part of the fight and making our nation more secure and more safe. And it went along with who I was because, like I said, my brother served.

Both of them served. And then I found out uncle served, and I found out cousin served. And I'm like, okay, it's just all around me. Everything was pointing to go.

I originally, don't tell anyone this, but I originally was going to try to go for the Air Force. However, everyone loved the Air Force. So this recruiter had zero shortage of recruits. So he was never in his chair because he'd make his quota early and get out of there.

The Navy guy was like, Hey, you want to come from here? I was like, obviously, because I'm not looking for any other branch. Whole thing went to the military. It was a great job.

It was a great journey. It was the hardest decision I ever did make, but it was one of the best decisions I ever made. And it was a journey for sure. Navy.

I'm also assuming there weren't very many women that were there. Like, it doesn't seem like there's nearly as many women as men. Yes. So when I went to the Navy, there's an in-processing called METS, military enlisted processing.

And I remember a gentleman that was in the military. He was signing up for the Marines. He told me, he said, you're joining the Navy because you want to get married. I was like, what?

I never heard of any such thing. He didn't know my name. None of this accused me of trying to get a man. I'm like, no, I'm really not.

But OK. But when I worked there, there wasn't really an influx of women in the military. In my boot camp, it was like 50-50 split. And there were a lot of barriers that we had to face.

And people didn't really take us seriously. They questioned why we joined. And just like in the real world, I believe the Navy is a subgroup of what's going on out there. Because that's where we get the people from.

You're going to have, sorry, but you're going to have women who satisfy that stereotype and have us looking crazy. And then you're going to have people who represent women. That's everywhere. But unfortunately, people latched on to the stereotype of maybe this person's not here.

They're not serious. And I found myself in those positions where my work had to speak for itself. So what was it that you did in the Navy specifically? The real question is what I didn't do.

I went through a lot. I started out in administration, paperwork. I was the executive officer's assistant. I worked in the captain's office for a little bit of time.

And I learned how to do Navy correspondence. So basically, a executive secretary's high responsibility, like dotting your I's and crossing your T's matter. Because everything that leaves that office represents the captain. That ship and the Navy.

So have to be on point. Have to. There are times you have to correct people that are superior to you. You got to get over it because it matters.

Once it leaves that ship, that's the representation. So that was a high, intense job. I went from that because I wanted a little more action. So then I started working in sea traffic control.

So if you think of an air traffic controller, they take care of traffic in airspace. As a sea traffic controller, we do the same but for sea space. So we charted quarters. We had to make sure the ship didn't run aground and it looked safe.

We went up to the pilot room and the bridge. We were able to let the captain know, hey, there's a ship on the left of us. There's a ship on the right of us. And we had to yell out coordinates.

Okay. So zero, zero degrees. And it's very nerdy. Very, if you think about what is, what is it, the, anything in space that they do now, Star Trek, it was very Star Trek-ish.

If you, you're going to be blind, right? You're like in the oceans. You're going to be blind unless you're like very, but again, crossing your I's, dotting your T's, you have to be very specific in order for you to get to where you need to go. Exactly.

And my last and final and most adored career, I wound up working for the JAG Corps as a paralegal. So I was doing a lot of typing once again, a lot of transcribing and writing as a court reporter. I also acted in the position of a prosecutor assistant because I was able to lead on some cases and do the research. And.

I was able to do a lot of things in the military. And I was able to do a lot of different things in the military. So that was one of my most enriching careers that I've had within the military structure. So I went through a lot of changes, but they all built on one another.

Yeah. It sounds like they did. And then as you retired from that, you decided to, you empowering women, public speaking, writing a book. So let's talk about how all that came to pass as well.

I will say when I was younger, I always wanted to be a lawyer. I always wanted to be a writer. As a matter of fact, at the age of 15, I published my first poem. I just wrote a poem for school and the teacher was like, you should get this published.

And then she told everyone at school and I followed her directions. And next thing I was published and it was published in like a local paper. And then from there, it went to the Library of Congress. And I was like, yeah, all the accolades.

But I didn't get paid a dime, but it was nice. It was fun. But I only got, you know, I had a I had a huge imagination. My imagination encouraged me.

It saved me a lot. It gave me hope for the future. Big, creative. And I wrote a lot of stories.

And I knew I would be a writer again because I use those skills again in the military. In the JAG Corps, when I was a paralegal, we wrote a lot. We had to write about cases. We had to know what the issue was, what the references are, what the application is and the conclusion.

Because lawyers didn't have time sometimes to go through the cases. Me, the. Me, so we had to write a brief on what we read. And so that was exciting.

And there are times when I was selected to write a newsletter throughout my career as a paralegal. So it was going in that direction early on. There were times they had to facilitate and teach. Now, if anyone's in the military more than three years, five years, 10 years, whether you want to or not, you're going to lead.

You're going to facilitate. You're going to get up in a row in front of people and teach them how to do their job. How to do it effectively and how to do it efficiently, unless you really do a good job hiding. But the Navy doesn't allow for that.

So I did a lot of facilitating, a lot of teaching. Amy, a lot of stuttering, a lot of freezing, a lot of crying, a lot of jumping out of my skin. I went through these processes because some days you're not always on, but I was always managed to push through. And I would put myself aside and say, hey, I might be going through these nerves.

I may not be perfect, but what's more important? Yeah. Whenever I focus on impact and the people I'm helping, the nerves are gone. That's what I do now.

I didn't ever tell you that the nerves left forever. I just cue into impact because who is this going to help? And I realize it's really not so much about me, but that I'm a vessel and I speak to what their needs are. I love that.

I love that you're like, OK, yeah, these nerves are going to be here. But I can set them aside to step into a powerful space to be able to be a vessel to teach, to help, to inspire. Correct. And I loved it.

So that led you here. It led me here. I'm just a hardheaded girl. I'm going to tell you the truth.

I grew up in New York. Yeah. But you know what? During the Navy, there's that.

But Amy, they don't give me credit because they say I'm not from the real New York because I didn't come from the borough like Brooklyn, Bronx. Like you're from Long Island. Yeah, that's not the real New York. They don't give me the credit I deserve.

I think you get the credit. I don't think. I think you're from New York. And I think that just matters.

It's a big city. There's it's busy. There's a lot. It's a melting pot.

There's a lot. Amy, they told me that I was going to get kicked out of the Navy because I couldn't swim. I wasn't. I'm not going home and I'm not going out like that.

And I'm not going home embarrassed. So I continue to go to the lessons. And the funny thing about it is I went to get lessons prior to the Navy. So I was swimming well.

But no one explained to me buoyancy and how water works and how it might change when you go to another elevation. Because. New York, Chicago, two different things. So I was having trouble with that.

And I was a tiny girl. I was like 90 pounds. I was barely like getting it together. But I did it.

I cried. I celebrated. And I just am a person that even when I want to quit certain things, I just got to keep pushing. I just got to try.

I got to get that final. I can't rest with the no. I need the big person in charge to tell me no for me to actually stop. Yeah.

Which I don't know. I actually don't know if that big person. It's going to be any there. You'll probably just keep pushing through until you get them to tell you.

I'll never know. So I have. You'll never know. So let's shift gears a little bit and talk about.

So you have this book pushing, doing it hard. So with your book, and I know you also talk to women a lot about seeking their purpose, finding their destiny. So with that as your platform, what would you tell the woman that is tuning in right now who is lost, who is looking? Looking for motivation, looking for inspiration.

Yeah. What would you want to say to her right now as she's listening to you speak? So the voices that I heard on the outside of me, my external voices were you didn't have a dad in your life. You're going to be a pregnant high school student.

You're going to drop out of school. You're not going to be anything. You're not going to move out of your state. You're just going to stay there forever and do absolutely nothing.

And that's what I want to explain to them, that they're going to be people out there. They're going to. But usually they, the symbolic, they don't know what they're talking about because I was none of those things. And the hard part was getting into the voice in my head and not letting their voice become my voice.

I had to block out the noise by simply, like I said, by simply believing, refusing to quit, stumbling, crying, pushing through it, believing through it. And even though my book is called Do Not Afraid, it also talks about how to eliminate self-doubt, confront fear and walk in your divine purpose. The way you know you have purpose is the simple fact that you're here looking at me right now as a walking miracle. I wasn't supposed to do it.

I didn't always want to live. I wasn't always happy. It wasn't always sunshine. I felt hurt because I didn't have a father in my life.

I made bad decisions in relationships and I was choosing according to my wounds. And then I put myself in bad predicaments, choosing below what I can do. But now that I learned how to eliminate self-doubt and face my fears, I'm going to be able to do it. That's my life.

I face all of my fears. I didn't say I did it perfectly. I said I just go and I face it. What I realized is that sitting in quiet, I did reach, I would say, a crisis in my life where I was just like one boyfriend too many, about to lose it.

I was feeling lonely. I was feeling isolated. I was feeling misunderstood. So what I did do, I reached out to a friend who seemed to have her spiritual life together.

I started to go to her church. And I was so desperate. I was so desperate to receive and achieve alignment that I took the time to fast 50 days. No sugar, no sweets, no meat, just water, fruits, and vegetables.

I don't know what it is about sacrificing things that gets your attention, but it helps me to focus. I believe that I felt a voice on the inside of me. I felt the voice of God push me. And I was like, what do you want me to do?

This is my life. This is what's going on. I'm feeling desperate. I didn't have this guidance in my life.

I'm picking the wrong guys. And I'm feeling empty. I'm feeling I'm never getting the love that I receive in return. So what is my purpose?

And I found it out midway through that fast. And I opened up to a scripture. And I realized that everyone doesn't believe. And that's okay.

No disrespect there. But for me, I sought a scripture. And I never read the scripture in my life. And it was Isaiah 50 and 4.

And it was this. Lord has given me the tongue of the learned that I know how to speak of the word in season to him that's weary. He wakeneth. Me morning by morning to hear us learn.

And then from there, I knew I was either a counselor, a therapist, worker to help people give birth to what's inside of them. And that's where the whole destiny doula monitor came from. Because I do help people give birth. And sometimes it's ugly.

Sometimes it's yelling. Sometimes it's screaming. But it's all worth it to see the other side. And I've seen a lot of ugly.

I've seen a lot of screaming. I've seen a lot of crying. I've seen a lot of. And I was able to see the other side that it's not in vain.

So all those ladies that have been through those things and have experienced some or all of those things, your life isn't in vain. You didn't get this far to get this far and not go anywhere. Your story, your pain has a purpose to be a blessing to someone else, to teach somebody else, to reach somebody else. And I think that's what purpose is about, is to help other people as you go.

Because we are very connected humans. And yet we live in a very disconnected world now with social media and with the news and with just everything that goes on. We are disconnected. And then there's a lot of people that feel so alone.

And I was like, but did you know that if you have a real conversation face to face with a real hug and you serve someone, you're going to feel so much better. But I love. There's something about serving others. Yeah.

There is. When you serve others. Your heart opens. Right.

And you're able to connect. And I don't know why this is coming up for me, but I might as well share it. It's like a lot of times when we need help, we are scared to ask for help. Right.

Almost. And that's our ego. That's our ego being like, what if all of the what ifs, like, what if they don't think I'm good enough or what if they don't want to? What if I am burdening them?

What are the all of the what ifs that can happen? But when you look at it, when you ask someone to help you. You're giving them the opportunity to serve you. And you're giving them the opportunity to serve you.

And when they feel that you are trusting them with the opportunity to serve you, they feel a deeper connection to you. And so it's actually a beautiful thing to go both ways. Like, purpose doesn't have to be so complicated. And it could be as easy as just, what do you love to do?

What did you love to do as a child? What did you love to do as a child that you keep telling yourself that you're not worthy of anymore, that you can't do? And also, who do you love to be around? It's.

Like, those things are pretty, like, we just, we make it more complicated. But as you do that, I think your destiny does come forward. Very much so. You have to figure out what do you do that gives you this intrinsic value that money can't buy.

Like, do whether you get paid or not. That when you're done, you feel empty but full at the same time. Because you're getting a lot, but you're also. Yeah.

You're also feeling full like that heart is wide open. Exactly. And we do, we get talked out of it because of these scripts that others put in our head. You can't do that.

You don't have the background for that. Or you don't have the knowledge for that. Or girls don't do that. Women don't do.

Whatever that is, that's their fear being projected onto you. And sometimes those people mean because they've learned to guard themselves from getting to their purpose. But remember, at some point, you have to realize that their thoughts have nothing to do with you. You have to get with you.

You have to be one-on-one with you. Re-answer, re-focus. Re-center and re-focus and turn inward. I always like to say that you're, so often we seek for answers outside of ourselves.

Hello. Everyone's opinion too. Why do you think of this? Should I do this?

Whatever. But I'm like, if you quiet yourself enough and you just turn inward, you have the answers inside of you. Okay. So now, Amy, I'm thinking that someone's doing a trick on me.

Okay. We all have the answers inside of us. We just have to ask. Quiet yourself and ask.

It's in there. Yeah. It's because it's truth. You and I, right?

Like a lot of coaches, a lot of us will have a lot of similar things that we coach on, but it's because there are common truths that just are. And so, of course, that's going to be similar. And of course, that's why. you and i are aligned and how we have a similar to help and inspire women and show them what they're capable of a step in the power but as we do that we also have to be examples of that we have to be the people that are doing it afraid to show other people that they can also do it afraid yes and words have power i'm telling you right now this i when i wrote this book i was writing it for other people but i was giving birth in the process to some other dreams and talents i didn't know i had i became bolder in my faith after writing this and just not my not just my spiritual faith but my faith in the person that i am and my greatest ability of seeing and waiting and the wealth of having slow morning that's wealth to me being out i hope to be present you I'm getting emotional being able to be present with my daughter if someone calls and something happens i can just get up and i don't have to ask a boss if i could leave i just jumped up the ledge about a month ago i had a job i went back to the workforce and i got laid off and then they just scheduled me out of the blue and i was like i was getting used to having my own time i was planning things for my book launch i had a whole team of people that were going to speak on the platform which i realized i enjoy watching others speak so that might be something else coming down the pipe of something i'm developing i just love people speak regardless of grammar background it's all a flavorful diverse like mixed bag i love it when people speak their truth because speaking is an act of defiance and so i was tested in my faith of doing it afraid because i didn't feel aligned with that career anymore i felt like the grace for that has been given to me and i've been able to do it for a long time and i've been able to do it for a long time and i need to trade in my getting money and those that time for something else so then time became my commodity i had no story i had no two-week notice after i hung up with them i called right back and said hey i won't be coming anymore yeah good for you and it was the best thing i'm not in need of anything i'm being provided for and now i'm able to plan things for me and be helpful for other people and walk into my purpose and not be hindered but i wasn't always at that place and to all of you that are looking at this right now and saying that's nice and i wish i could do that there's absolutely no pressure there's absolutely nothing wrong with using a job or a career to help foster your dreams in the future you'd write what's right for you no one can tell you that but you'll know on the inside if there's ever a time when you're not to be in a place anymore because you won't sleep you won't eat right and your mind will be creatively thinking about all these other things you could be planning so in that case i would say then get with a coach like amy or myself that can help you redirect but don't feel isolated i know this culture likes to talk about hustle culture and have three jobs and quit your job today that is not what i'm promoting over here do everything in wisdom but be honest with yourself in the process and i'll see you in the next video bye bye there's absolutely nothing wrong with using what you have to get to where you need to go yeah and there's a difference between okay this is my this is what i'm doing right now so that i can do this in the future versus jumping ship and not having a plan right it's sometimes we need a little bit of a plan but at the same time at the same time we do have to step into that discomfort and there are things that are going to be scary it's yeah starting a business you're not going to know for sure but there's a lot of people who've already done it and so if you can just say okay i have not done this i don't know what the heck i'm doing and these other people do so i can watch and learn from them and i bet you i can even ask them which is another thing that i think a lot of people don't do and out of fear or out of ego is they'll look at someone successful and they'll want to know how they did it but they don't ask them and i think this is really interesting because when people have had a lot of time and they've had a lot of time to success i know that even with the successes that i've had i feel honored to share when people come up to me and say hey amy how did you do this or how did you buy that property but it's like an honor that someone looks up to you enough to want to know how and i think a lot of people feel the same way as i do it's there's no problem with asking like how did you do this or what do you see in me too what do you see in me that i'm not fulfilling like a lot of these powerful questions that we can ask that will help lead to a lot of people's success and i think a lot of people your purpose and your destiny it's what do others people seeing you that think that this thing is so beautiful but you don't see it yourself because it's just easy for you like you're telling yeah it's like a lot of those things come easy to us right and so we might not see them but other people see them but if we lean into those and focus on those we're gonna be so much more in alignment i couldn't say it better ever since i started collaborating and asking questions and investing in coaches like i'll be honest with you i needed a book coach i'm sure maybe i didn't need a book coach but wow you go further when you have someone who's done it already and you don't have to guess when a life coach who helps me with my professional development helped me with my personal development and it was an investment and i believed in it i wasn't just throwing money away aimlessly those things they were planted in good ground we got we can't be afraid to invest our seed to get something out and both things are flourishing and i'm sure there's more i need to learn but the funny things happens when you step up and decide to be taught and decide to be led you're becoming a leader too aren't you you're learning how to be a good follower seeing some of the best coaches are people that are being coached i always say you can only ever go as far as you can only ever and this is yeah you guys now we're talking coach talk but you can only ever be as good of a coach as you've been able to go deep yourself so if you have never been able to go really deep and really uncover a lot of things that are super just like uncomfortable and scary you won't ever be able to do that with your client and that's one thing that like i love to do with my clients because they have had a lot of those experiences but bringing it back to her the person that is listening the person that is tuning in what would you tell her regards to just doing it afraid i know we've already hit on this a little bit but is there anything yeah there's always more yeah there's always more yeah no if you're anything like me when i first stumbled upon the entrepreneurship journey what i didn't realize is my story is powerful and i want you to know that your story is powerful it may be the very thing that will take your life to the next level once you get comfortable telling it now it's on you to know what do you do with your story who are you truly in the story remember you're the main character in your story no matter how other people in your life try to make you other than that it is going to require going deep it took psychologists it took psychiatrists it took my life coaches it took me truly wanting to be heard and really wanting to be the best person i can be i'm gonna let you know you can go toward your destiny and you can go to your purpose without having it all figured out sometimes like let me just do this and i gotta get the website i gotta get this and that first you knowing what you want to do is what you got to get down pat and start making steps little small steps along the way and those small steps are affordable steps and they're making imprints that you don't even understand yet but as you're moving toward those steps you're moving further away from who you thought you were and closer to who you're going to be it's okay to say you're not going to be who you thought you were and you're going to be who you're going to be unknown for a little bit it's okay to not have it all figured out that's not how life is how many times have i planned a presentation and i mean i planned it but then when i get in the room i realized the women i'm surrounded by are the men i'm surrounded by the people i'm surrounded by i decide i don't want to talk at people i want to talk to them with them and for them and so the conversation might shift from something that i'm not going to be able to talk about something i presented or wanted to present because i'm moving with the flow and that's what happens a lot when you're seeking purpose you go with the flow and you do what your gut tells you to do and you go in alignment because you're starting to care more you're starting to be more intentional you're starting to be more mindful about those things but it's okay to not have it all figured out but please do something that's my challenge to you do something that'll take you closer to your dream if it's writing a book write a few words and then you're going to be able to down on paper if it's figuring out your life and how to go forth with it then start seeking the person that you trust who is the expert in that space you don't know that there are people literally lining up to help you because that's not what the world looks like but there are people who can answer your problem there's a solution to your problem and you are the solution to someone else's problem and on it goes so don't worry about not having everything straight everything figured out but do go toward your goals do something that'll get you closer even if it's just one thing and just like the the small steps and i think that's another thing that we look at like big the big goal right the big thing and it seems overwhelming so we don't ever start but it actually doesn't have to be it can be small like small simple steps and they build over time i read i forget the author i shouldn't forget the author but i do right now but the book is called everything's figureoutable i love that i want to you know he's really great and the way she writes it's really fun but anyway the book is called everything is figureoutable and it really is and as you do it as you just take on the identity of everything's figureoutable whether you hire a coach or not doesn't matter whether you like it you can do those things which help you get to your goal faster but it's just taking the step and then looking at the people who've been there before and understanding that if they have done it that means you can do it that's it they've gone there then it's totally possible and i also love the quote by napoleon thinking grow rich if you haven't read it also a book that everybody needs to read but it's whatever the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve and with that it's but there's three parts right so conceive it there's birth there it's okay it's conceived but then belief part i think is the hardest part you have to believe that this can happen for you a lot of times we look at other people and say of course it happened for them or they just get lucky or whatever but you have to identify with the belief the true belief that this can happen for you and so if you can conceive it and believe it you can achieve it and when you look at everybody else that has gone before you and has done it that's just proof it's just proof that it's possible and yeah anyway last little closing thought do you have anything you would like to share just leave with our audience with before we all say goodbye okay i did want to share with you one of the concepts in my book is about dreaming big and that's doing bold imaginative and grand b-i-g when you think big and bold when your dream starts to grow don't limit it think bigger and bigger when i say imaginative this is how far i've gone and i want you to go this far too but we were younger kids we had crayons we wrote in color we just oh i'm going to be a doctor or i'm going to be a superhero i want you to dream that big i want you to break out the crayons break out the magazines break out the pinterest and put this together as some type of collage you can see and visit and when you think grand this is what i do i say to myself one day i'm going to get an image award and when i walk up to that stage i'm going to have a red sequins gown with off the shoulder it's going to be long i might have a little bit of a train the champagne is going to be delicious my friends are going to be on the left of me my friends are going to be on the right of me the people i do work with are going to be there it's going to be an amazing time i actually see myself on the stage shaking someone's hand with the mic in my hand put yourself in that place i want you to even know what perfume you're going to wear what food you like to eat what you look like how is your hair me personally i like the french roll so i just really dream big and see it i just want to see it so bad that i can touch it and taste it so dream big and one more thing when people say think outside the box i just want you when you get a chance to take a mallet and destroy the box because guess what i'm going to be a superhero i'm going to be a superhero i'm going to be a there's absolutely no box we've made it up it's not there yeah it's not there we've made we've made it a thing and it's actually not i love that you believe that with me it's like all the control it's all the things that we've created that actually don't need to be anything i find funny we created a box to teach us how to think limitlessly but how can you if you're envisioning a box yeah it doesn't make any sense but i love that like when you step outside the box it's so much more freeing and that's one thing i love to show women is that we get to decide what we're worth we get to decide how we live we get to decide how we show for our families we get to decide all of the things and it's a get to it's not a have to it's how you want to look at it it's how you want to craft your life and yeah just i love that love being an example of what's possible so thank you for being an example of what's possible and for sharing with us your thoughts and your wisdom on the podcast i've enjoyed having you here and everyone else have a great day we will be back next week with another episode we'll see you all later thank you so much bye hey if you enjoyed listening to this podcast you've got to come check out my signature program thrive her academy this is where we do real coaching and work transformation i teach you how to apply the strategies and mindset tools we talk about here on the podcast so you can create that life and business that you love for more information go to www.

amysanders. co forward slash services again that is amysanders.