Your Story Is Your Power

I realized that everything that I experience put me in a place that gets me out of the uncomfortable situation that I created for myself. Because our mindset shifts and shapes before the age of six and seven. Because as children, if we are born and we do everything, we don't have any fears until somebody else tells us no. Welcome to the Thrive Her podcast.

I'm your host, Amy Sanders. I'm a fitness and wellness pro, mom, stepmom, second wife, and master certified life coach. I'm here to help you manage your mind so you can uncover the most potent version of yourself and create the thriving life you love. Welcome back to the Thrive Her podcast.

I'm your host, Amy Sanders. And today I have a special guest. Her name is Sudabit. And she has an incredible story.

She is an immigrant. And she has been through many ups and downs. But she's landed on top. She is an Amazon bestselling author.

She's a motivational speaker. She's a certified hypnotherapist. She helps high-performing women transform their businesses to become even bigger and better. Whether it's business or she can talk more to that.

All the things. But she has been through. So many challenges that I thought, you know what, she's going to be able to really help and inspire many, which is what we like to do on the podcast. So Sudabit, thank you so much for being here.

I'm so excited to hear from you and your wisdom and experience and all the things. Can you tell us a little bit more about your background? Yes, thank you, Amy. I am so excited to be here.

And thank you so much for giving me this opportunity and the platform to share my story. Because it is not about this. We don't share the story just to talk about something. The purpose is to inspire people, specifically, especially women, to know that we are not alone in our journey.

Because everything that I experience, it may not be exactly the same that somebody else will go through it. But it all ties in the same way. And we experience the self-doubt. We experience feelings.

We feel not good enough and all of that. And then we feel that at some point in our life that it is time for me to get out of my own way and make that decision and choose something because I am worthy. And everything that I experience and everything that we are experiencing, it takes us to a place that we say enough is enough. I need to take care of myself.

I need to find that hope. I need to find that healing, that forgiveness, whatever it is. And that's the reason that I share my story to become the inspiration for someone else that is going through a difficult journey and in silence. Because we learn that being vulnerable is a sign of weakness.

And you're not supposed to show and tell other people how you feel, that you're suffering, that you're vulnerable. You're feeling lonely, isolated. You're feeling depressed. You feel like life is not worth living and all of that.

So this is the reason. And I'm really grateful that you gave me this opportunity. So together we bring the messages of hope and healing for the women and everyone, actually, that is in that dark place. So my journey started a long time ago.

And I am old. Little. You don't look very old. I know that you're a grandma.

You have two grandkids. Yeah. But yeah. So tell us more about your, yeah, your whole story.

It is fascinating. Yes. Thank you so much. Yes.

Thank you so much. Yes. I grew up in Iran and the mindset that I realized when I came in the place that I needed to figure out why I was, I didn't know that because we go through life. We don't know what is that a story that we keep telling ourselves.

Right? My story was the mindset that I had, it was not good enough, not smart enough, not beautiful enough, and all of those, I call it the enoughness, I wasn't. Everything that I experienced in life, it brought me to a moment that to say enough is enough and I need to figure out what to do, how to survive in the place that I am. I lost my father.

When I was 13 years old, that took me into a long journey with depression, not one day or one month or one year. It was decades of going through depression and not knowing that how I could get out of it. And that time, sometimes even when we are experiencing that signs of depression, we just mask it, right? Because we get up, we are ready.

We are mothers, we are parents, we are caretakers, we are siblings, whatever, a family member. We always put other people's needs ahead of us, right? Did you know that you were in depression? Were you like, are we just not even aware?

You're just like doing the grind. Okay. Yes, yes. Because I was a teenager and I knew that I was missing my father because he was my hero and I didn't want to get out of bed.

It affected my. My schooling, it affected my grades and all of that. But one great thing that came out of that pain was the need for healing. And that led me to, after I graduated, go back to go to school and become a nurse.

So that was the thing that after coming out of that depression, not coming out of it, but experiencing that. I didn't want people to lose their father, their mother, their loved ones. So it led me, that was the gift I realized many years later, the gift of losing my father and led me to find the purpose. One of my purpose was to help people.

And I have been working as a nurse for almost 40 years. So, yes, that was, has been an incredible journey that. And I have been working as a nurse for almost 40 years. How does it feel when people are in that place?

And also experiencing depression, I can see the signs in my patients or with my clients. When I was 19 years old, it was the one year after the revolution took place in Iran and the new government came over and decided to take our rights away from us. And the first thing that they did, they decided to close all the colleges and universities all over the country because they thought that we are going to expel everyone, the students, the professors, the teachers that do not follow their religious ideology of the government. And that was their choice.

That was their decision. Wow. So at that point. At that point.

So you were 19 when this happened? Yes. I was 19 years old. Okay.

And I was going to nursing school. And as you can see, before revolution, Iran was like America. It was a westernized country. We could dress up however we wanted to go to school or not to whatever.

And everybody decided we are going to tell the government we are going to protest. And that's something that anybody would do. And it was interesting. In that place that I was captured, I was tortured, I was beaten into a coma.

And I was only 19 years old and I was in a coma for about one week from what my mom and my family told me. And coming out of it, because just imagine that you do something that your parents keep telling you not to do. My mom kept telling me, don't go. Don't get involved in this.

People do all kinds of things. Don't go to school? Is that what she's saying? No, don't go to protest.

Because she knew there was, yes. All right. And my mom was a teacher and she wanted me to go become a nurse. Actually, that was one of her ideas that because she wanted to be a nurse and her father wanted her to be a teacher.

And she didn't want me to get involved in the protest and go from there. It was very sheltered for me. It was a sheltered life. That my mom was making all kinds of decisions for me.

Really to that, to really a great extent. And she was upset. She was upset with me and she couldn't be that support system that I wanted her to be and tell me like, I can take care of you. You are safe.

You don't have to worry about it. And for me, surviving that ordeal when I thought that I was one of the lucky ones to survive. And then go through that and not getting help again because she didn't know how to get help for me. And she was going through her own stuff because she lost her husband about four or five years ago.

Prior to that, there were five kids that she had to raise. She had, as a teacher, she had to work two jobs to provide for us. And all of that, she was going into her own journey. And trying to get her own stuff going on.

It's like she, of course, it would be hard for her to show up for you the way that you needed her to. But still, it's a lot. It's a lot for everyone involved. Absolutely.

And then I got married and make the longest story short because tell you the whole story is going to be days. And that's what the books are for. That's why she's written so many books, right? Yeah.

You're on your third, by the way. Yes. We'll talk about it. Okay.

Yes. And then when I had my first child and my son was four and a half years old when I was pregnant, seven months with my second child. And my husband decided that his life was in jeopardy. And he said, I need to escape.

So what are you going to do? I'm seven months pregnant. We have a four-year-old child. And I had to stay back in Iran and go back, sell everything that we had.

And live with my mom again. The mother that was not supportive wanted the best for me, but didn't know how to communicate that. It wouldn't be that for you. Yeah.

Yes. And then it was one year, two years, three years. And I stayed behind working 15 days in a row because I was a nurse. One day off, 15 days in a row, taking two kids, taking two buses, taking two kids and a big bag of supply.

Yeah. family no friends no money and I even couldn't speak the language so you came here to America to be back with your husband and as soon as you're here he's nope no like here I am with your children yep and you don't even speak the language okay so what did you do from there the first thing that I I thought I'm just sick and tired of suffering and there is nothing good in for my life so I decided to end my life but as you can see I failed and I said I am a failure I failed in that and not to just joke about the depression not about joke and but you have to use the humor somehow when you learn how to get yourself through those dark moments and I at that moment when I decided that I thought that I was a failure I failed my mother I failed my school I failed my brother I failed my children I failed my marriage and there is nothing else for me and I knew that going back to Iran was completely out of question and then later on when I decided to get my life together go back to school learn the language go back to school and apply for nursing the school and become again get my degree and I was like I'm not going to do that I'm not going to do that I'm not going to do that and be a registered nurse and all of that and I bought my brand new home I had my brand new car and my kids were teenagers and here I am stuck again what is what then all the thing that when we are going through a tough and then you focus on kids you focus on work you focus on everybody else and I was in a place that I had everything that I didn't even dream of like a few years before that I was in the darkness and I realized that I was empty inside so how can I figure out who I was where did I come from where am I going and this is like something that we wrongly say or inaccurately say midlife crisis but it's not a midlife crisis it's just we going through life and doing everything there is a time that we have to figure out who am I what is my identity who am I in my own reality so what did that look like for you and it's interesting that you're like hey I finally have all of these things and still I feel nothing inside yes and that was guided me led me to every time that I will come to from work and I would listen to watch tv turn on the tv and there was a show about authors that talking about mindset talking about life and life and life and life and life and life and life and life and life and life and life and life purpose, talking about the whatever the universe, the spirituality and all of that. And I would feel like they were talking to me directly. So I read a lot of books, I attended a lot of workshops.

And I realized that as I was going through all of those and just was so thirsty and hungry for knowledge and figuring out where I could go. I realized that everything that I experienced, put me in a place that gets me out of the uncomfortable situation that I created for myself, because our mindset shift and shapes before the age of six and seven. Because as children, if we are born and we do everything, we don't have anything, until somebody else tells us, no, you cannot do that. No, this is a stupid.

No, don't you have any shame and put the shame and guilt and everything. Then we realize that I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy enough. I'm not smart enough.

And all of that thing that I had to learn. And hypnosis was one of the tools that helped me to say goodbye to everything that I experienced. In the past, they are there, but I am not associating with them. That is not my identity.

Like I am not the victim of the circumstances. I'm not the victim mentality that was gone. And I realized that everything I experienced, like I wrote a letter, I gave it to my son to give to his father to say, thank you for giving me the gift of new beginning, second chance in life. Because everything that we go through, it is literally a universe's way, consciousness of way that pushes us out of that little place that we put ourselves in.

And as a result, I became, I feel more powerful than I was in my 80s and 70s. In my 20s and 30s. 20s and 30s I feel like I love myself I accept myself and as a result of everything because when I started working with my coach after reading all the books and attending the workshops and I thought that I need to work with somebody that can show me the way the next step I wanted to get better and then I realized I wanted I went there to get to understand how I can heal from my past and then I found my life purpose and that's why I am here speaking about it because I felt that everything I experienced guided me put me in a place so I can be speak about it I can be the speaker I can be the author I can be the model of it is okay that you feel that way but there is a there is a solution to the problem of feeling not good enough and that's why I am here yeah wow thank you for all of that you're welcome her dad dies as a recap her dad goes dies you get depression 19 you end up being essentially tortured and captured yes and into a coma mom doesn't know what to do doesn't know how to help you doing the best she can with five kids while she's also healing from her own traumas and from there a few years later you marry have kids your husband moves he flees you then follow him and then you're here without I just like that's just a lot of things right what's a lot of things that a lot of people and as you guys are listening to the story yes we all have a different journey journey is definitely different than most people that are going to be listening but I hope that you can see that it's never too late no matter where you are to make the change and to start to see that maybe these things that happen that might feel like they're happening to you or actually happening for you and that you can pick those little experiences up and use them as a way to change your life and to start to see that you can power that's how I look at it like we get to decide how our life is and we can build it brick by brick and each one of those experiences that could seem so horrific at the time is just part of this beautiful building that you are creating called life and with you you have turned a lot of just those massively traumatic events how many people can say they've been captured and being put into a coma right that's really just hard to even define how you're and how hard that would have been to be in your shoes but you did it you lived through it you pushed forward you continue to question yourself too you're like wait I still okay now I've done better I'm living this life things are coming together for me and this still doesn't feel right you are being guided the whole way to your purpose and at this point you've now written two books which guys we also have to point out that she wrote them you wrote them in English correct even though it's not your native language yes talking about this before we hit record because she wants to speak her voice and make sure that it sounds authentic and the way she felt like she could do that was actually by writing it in English even though that's not your native language which is amazing tell us your two books that you've already written and then what you're doing right now yes thank you so much Amy for that question yes my first book is called Angel Nightingale and the reason that I call it Angel Nightingale is angels because one is the people that came in I call them angel in physical form and they're my earth angels came because there are lots of people came to rescue me strangers in a new country and I wanted to talk about that and Nightingale is Florence Nightingale is the pioneer of nursing because that book begins with my story in Iran and how I came here but also what I have learned I was able to put that and help many of my patients and also this stories of my clients to try some of them that my patients that transition to the spirit world that their stories are really heartwarming and inspiring so that is what the basis of that book is if anybody wants something that is really inspires them and heartwarming stories of not just for my story but other people's story that is a wonderful book and that one was published in 2016 and I'm really excited to be able to share that with you and I'm really excited to be able to share that with you and I'm really excited to be able to share that with you and then my second book is basically just tools you are stuck you are on a crossroads what do you do how do you go to the next step and find your path in life not necessarily finding your life purpose but finding getting yourself through the difficult time that is called emerging you to discovering you becoming the best version of you and that one became Amazon number one best-selling book in 2020 both books are available on Amazon and I'm currently working on the third book which I cannot talk about it of course yet number three though it's number three is coming definitely still on the DL yes amazing okay so what would you say to the woman who is dealing with something that's just whether it's ultra traumatic or she's still stuck she doesn't feel like she's worthy and she has all of these beliefs to back her up of different experiences what would you tell her right now healing is a journey of layers it comes in layers so there is no not a magic one to say this is how what you do and you get better but the first thing the first step is acknowledging acknowledging that something happened and we are not going to go and ask why that happened because when we ask that question it's whatever it is the universe it's just giving us more of what we are asking for so instead of that figure out yes when I say why I don't have money or why this bad thing happened to me then more of that we are asking for more of it it's not like universe is our enemy it's just the way it it works so when we are in that dark moment I would say thank you for showing me the way and when I say thank you is because everybody has a different spiritual beliefs right some people call it God some people call it higher consciousness higher power universe whatever that connect with that source that you believe in and say thank you source I always say call it source thank you source for showing me the way because when I was crying myself to sleep I was crying myself to sleep and I was crying myself to sleep and I was crying I will always ask please show me the way because if I am not every life and death situation that I experienced and it felt like somebody just literally picked me up and saved my life I said okay then show me the way if I am here then show me the way and then take time for yourself take time for yourself sometimes people I was in that situation I didn't have the resources I didn't have the money to go and get me a massage or a pedicure or manicure or I would go for a walk I would go do something that makes you to feel the connected with something that some power that is greater than our physical body the power of the soul because we are powerful soul is we are coming in on earth in this physical form because our spirit needs to learn and grow and evolve so ask that question thank you how can I move forward how can I get better how can I find peace how can I find make it into a positive question asking for positive respond positive solution and that way the universe our mind everything it was it would be helpful to get that positive out positive solution toward the problem that we are facing yeah I love it I love to not ask why but then to say okay thank you now I'll help guide me yes here I am yeah I'm now surrendering to you yes so help me and that also shows a lot of trust right but one thing I love to talk about with my audience is just self-trust and how everything comes down to that we've got to believe that we can have our own back and our soul I always say our soul is old it's really old which means it's also very wise but we get really good at not listening to it not turning inward and really asking those questions that are going to help us move the needle forward in our life so I love the way you position it yes most definitely because sometimes I'll say please God or please universe please please give me this we go in and when we do that we are focusing on the lack of we don't have yes what we don't have and say I always I learned thank you thank you for blessings of abundance thank you for blessings of health thank you for blessings of health thank you for blessings of friendships and loving relationships teachers of whatever just give that thanks in advance because then it takes us through to a space and place of gratitude rather than focusing on that yeah which is just going to hire move our vibration higher which is going to help us attract more that is manifestation right it's knowing that we can have more of what we want and desire but long as we're positioning ourselves that place not out of security but out of abundance I love it okay if there was one little thing that you would like to share with us that you would like to share with us before we close believe in yourself believe in yourself and believe in that dream that is within you because and the source would not give us a dream that we cannot manifest it into reality because we are constantly manifesting so believe in yourself and you are worthy and you are good enough deserve to create the life that we want and deserve yeah I love it yeah I love it if it's on your heart you can build it if it's something that you've been dreaming about there's a reason why right it's like it needs to come into fruition and we can thank you so much for your time and for your wisdom and for your incredible story for those of you guys who want to learn more and see more of her books and all of the things the easiest way is just to go to her website which we have posted in the links it's Suda Bay Mokri but that's probably easier to see in the link yes yes definitely that way yeah and if anyone has any questions you guys can reach out to me too but again thank you so much for being on the podcast really appreciate it and I hope this was helpful to those who tuned in and thanks for tuning in we'll see you guys next time bye thank you Amy hey if you enjoyed listening to this podcast you've got to come check out my signature program Thrive Her Academy this is where we do real-time podcasting and real-time podcasting and real-time podcasting. coaching and inner work transformation I teach you how to apply the strategies and mindset tools we talk about here on the podcast so you can create that life and business that you love for more information go to www.

amysanders. co forward slash services again that is amysanders.