Becoming HER

What I want to offer you today is what if you just decided that you are constantly becoming her? That woman that is thriving in every area of her life. That woman that knows where she's going. That woman that plays big no matter what.

That woman that has her own back. That doesn't slip into people-pleasing. That doesn't slip into being less than so that she can fit in. What does that version of her look like to you?

Welcome to the Thrive Her podcast. I'm your host, Amy Sanders. I'm a fitness and wellness pro, mom, stepmom, second wife, and master certified life coach. I'm here to help you manage your mind so you can uncover the most potent version of yourself.

And create a thriving life you love. Hello, hello. So, here we are with the new podcast name. Second episode of it being Thrive Her podcast.

And I wanted to talk today about what it looks like to become her. Now, the reason why I decided to name this the Thrive Her podcast is because ultimately, I do want to be an example of what's possible, as well as showing you how to become more of the version of yourself that you love. The version of yourself that you respect, that you love full-heartedly, and where you feel like you're standing totally in your power. So, I'm going to ask you a series of questions, and I want you just to reflect on them and see where you are in your life right now.

And how big of a gap there is between where you are right now, and where you're wanting to go in your life. Now, remember, so often, we hold ourselves back because of our thoughts about how scary or uncomfortable moving through that discomfort can be. Achieving that big hairy goal, going after what we truly desire, what we truly want. And so, we stay stagnant.

I want you to ask yourself, where are you playing small in your life? Where are you playing small? During the day, do you do anything that's challenging to you? That feels uncomfortable?

That's a little bit scary? Are you playing small in your business? Are you playing small in your relationships? Are you all in on your relationships?

Are you all in on yourself? Can you let go? Can you look in the mirror and say, I love you. I love who you are.

Do you love to be with yourself? All of these are really good questions to ask. Because that is where the deep work starts. Are you playing safe by keeping friendships in your life that don't serve you?

But it's easier to keep them, to let them go. And so you keep allowing to be treated a certain way. Allowing people to treat you a certain way. Allowing yourself to treat you a certain way.

People don't take you seriously until you take yourself seriously. People don't respect your boundaries until they know what they are. And until you respect your own boundaries. So I want you to dream a little bit about this version of her.

This version of you that's inside of you. It's the person in you. The person who is totally unapologetic. Who stands in her power all of the time.

Who knows what she's worth and what she's capable of. I want you to ask, what does she do? How does she show up in the morning when she wakes up? Does she jump out of bed ready to tackle the day?

Does she work out? Do some meditation? Reflect on her life? Look at what she's grateful for?

Or not? Now the things that I suggest here might be things that I'm doing does not mean that that's right for you. You are going to know what's right for you. But I want you to just ask yourself, what does she do?

What does she do for fun? Is she allowing herself time and energy for fun? What are her self-care habits that she practices every single day? And what does she do for other people?

Is she there for other people? In your life right now, how are you showing up right now? And how can you show up when you're stepping into that version of her? As you're that version of her, who do you spend your time with?

Who are the people? Are they lifting you up right now? I know that for me, when I am being her, that upgraded version of myself, the person that I know is the best version of me, I am fulfilled. I feel whole.

I feel like I can conquer the world. But it's easy to slip out of that energy. And so what I want to offer you today is what if you just decided that you are constantly becoming her. That woman that is thriving in every area of her life.

That woman that knows where she's going. That woman that plays big no matter what. That woman that has her own back. That doesn't slip into people-pleasing.

That doesn't slip into being less than so that she can fit in. What does that version of her look like to you? Now, it's going to be different for you than it is for me because we're different people. We have different strengths.

We have different goals. We have different dreams. We have different families. We have different friendships.

So it's going to be different. But are you showing up as her? Now, the reason why I decided to record this topic today is because of my weekend. My weekend.

I'll be with certain people. We'll have conversations or whatever. And it really makes me reflect on, like, how do I want to share and show up for my audience? And I have been in this place of self-discovery.

I mean, really, I'm in this place of self-discovery all the time. But in the last couple weeks, I've really been doing a deep dive on me and how I'm showing up and how I want to show up for other people as well as myself. And I was talking to this woman who I have known now for over 20 years. I have known her for a long time.

And she is no better off now than she was when we met. She is pretty much in the same place as she was when I met. Now, this wouldn't be a problem if she was happy where she was at. But she's not happy where she's at.

She has dreams. And she has goals that she wants to achieve. She wants to hit. And really, they're not very big.

They're not very big. But she allows herself and her excuses to get in the way. And as I was talking with her this weekend, I was just so sad for her because she was asking me, as she's seen my life over the last 20 years progress and unfold and change and all the different things that I've gone through, she was asking me, like, just tips on mindset and what she can do. And then she told me how long I've been doing this.

How long she's wanted to go on this one specific vacation, which is not that hard of a vacation to achieve. And she feels like she can't. She's not allowed to. Because she's telling herself that she can't.

So instead of figuring out ways and stepping into that version of her who figures things out, who saves the money for the trip, or who asks for the raise, or who hangs out with people who are a little more uplifting and think bigger, so she's surrounding herself with people that think bigger. Ultimately, that's her biggest problem right now, is that she surrounds herself with people who have very limiting beliefs and don't think they're worthy of more. And if that's who you're hanging around all the time, you start to pick up those beliefs and accept them as your own. And so as I was talking to her, my heart kind of sank.

She also has some health problems. She also has some health problems that she doesn't want to take care of because it's going to cost her $400. And as I came away, I was just sad. And I was like, man, I see what she is.

I see who she can become. And yet she doesn't make the change. How many people are in that place right now? They're not satisfied with what their life is, with what they've done with their life.

The good news is that it's not too late. You can continually work on becoming her, even if it's a few minutes a day of you embracing what she looks like. But you ultimately have to move into self-trust and believe that that version of you is in there. And that's where I think my friend is a little bit hung up.

She's lost a lot of self-belief. When we first met 20 years ago, she was very different than she is now. And over time, life can beat you up, right? You can go through a lot of things.

They can beat you up and prove to you that you can't. But that's where you need to show life that you absolutely can. You are in control. You are exactly where you are because of the choices that you've made and the choices you keep making.

So the only way to do anything different is to start making different choices, to start looking at things and become hyper aware of where you are playing small, where you are turning away from your true self. I believe that we are meant to create and grow and become the best versions of ourselves. Every single day we have an opportunity to wake up and to become an improved version of ourself. But it is up to us to do it.

And that is by making small little choices every single day and asking the question, what does she do? Who is she? Am I being her? Who is that person?

What kind of lifestyle does she have? How does she treat her family and friends? Is she honest with herself and with others? Does she love herself fully and love others fully?

As you get super aware and super honest with yourself, it is surprising what comes next. So with me, I grew up in a family. There were seven kids in my family as we were growing up. And my parents were busy.

And they also had all of the stuff that they brought with them through their previous lives. And I say this with love. My parents are amazing individuals and they've done a lot with their lives. And they did the best they could with what they had raising us.

But I did grow up in a family where we were taught and trained to please. To say yes to everything and to say no to ourselves and our wants and our needs. And we would get in trouble when we spoke our opinions. And what that did is it taught me to be respectful but out of fear, not out of love.

And it taught me to turn away from myself and to say yes to other people and to say no to me. I was not worth it. I was not worthy of it. And I should not ask for anything because that's a selfish behavior.

That I've found as I've continually done work on myself and as I've continually grown more into this version of me that I want to be, I've learned how unhealthy that was. And it's been a really hard habit to let go of because I didn't feel like I was worthy of much. I didn't feel like it was okay to say no to something that did not serve me. But as I have taken back my power and as I have learned to say yes to the things that I want or no to the things that I don't want and as I've learned to turn inward and actually ask me, myself, like, what do you want?

It's been really healing for me. And I want that for you. But you have to know what you want. You have to be all in on yourself and play big.

You have to get uncomfortable and move through that discomfort knowing that when you're, like, scared of something or something seems really uncomfortable, that is where growth happens. For me, learning to say yes to myself and no to others is one of the hardest things I've had to learn how to do. Without excuses, like saying yes because I want to and then saying no without all of these reasons why that I can't. I always felt like you had to have a really big reason to say no if it was a no.

And sometimes it was just too scary to say no. So I wouldn't even say no or I wouldn't actually ask for what I wanted because asking for something was really, really scary. But the more that I do it, the easier it becomes. The more that I turn inward and am completely, 100% honest with myself, the better version of me I become.

Honesty is everything. Curiosity and awareness help us step out of that version that we are today that's not working and into the version of us that feels more authentic, feels more comfortable. It feels like you're more in flow. So, again, I want to ask you, where are you playing small in your life?

Where are you playing it safe? And who is the version of you? Who is she? What is she doing?

How does she spend her time? Who is she spending her time with? What does she believe to be true about herself? What is she capable of?

I want you to think about that and define that. And then I want you to step into that place of being her. What would she do? You're going to lean on her.

You're going to lean on your more authentic version of yourself to get answers right now to get you unstuck and on the path to becoming her. Who is the version of her? What would she be telling me right now when I'm feeling uncomfortable about posting or selling this product that I am selling? What would she say to me about this relationship that's not serving me right now?

What would that version of her tell me right now? And then act and move accordingly. Act and move accordingly. That's what I want you to think about and reflect on today.

Is how you become that better version, that 2. 0 version of you right now. I hope you have a fabulous week and I hope that you really truly dive in and work on becoming that better version of yourself every single day. That's what I'm doing.

I've had a lot of obstacles to overcome, a lot of hurdles. I'm still doing it. I am in the trenches with you. But the more honest I get with myself and the more I speak truth and I'm honest to other people as well as me, especially me, the more amazing my life becomes.

And that's what I want for you too. So have a great week and I will talk to you later. Bye. Hey!

If you enjoyed listening to this podcast then you've got to come check out my signature program, Thrive Camp. This is where we do real coaching and inner work transformation. I teach you how to apply the strategies and mindset tools we talk about here on the podcast so you can unlock your true potential and create the life you love. For more info, go to amysanders.

co forward slash thrive dash camp. Again, that's amysanders. co forward slash thrive dash camp. Let's get to work and thrive together.