The 4 Phases of the Cycle & Their Superpowers

All of our bodies are different, so the specific details of what works for each of us will vary, but a lot of the things I implemented were things that are like, this is what healthy optimal looks like for a cyclical body. Welcome to the Thrive Her podcast. I'm your host, Amy Sanders. I'm a fitness and wellness pro, mom, stepmom, second wife, and master certified life coach.

I'm here to help you manage your mind so you can uncover the most potent version of yourself and create a thriving life you love. Welcome back everyone. I'm your host, Amy Sanders. And today on the podcast, we are talking about a topic that we have never covered ever.

We're actually talking about your cycle and your hormones and the effects that it has on your body. And I have a special guest speaker with me today. Her name is Brianna Villegas, and she is a cycle syncing coach. You're probably like, what in the heck is a cycle syncing coach?

If you're a female, we're talking about your period, your menstrual cycle. And we want to get in a little bit of depth here because so often we just accept it for what it is. And we don't really know how it's affecting our bodies. And so in order to thrive in life, I'm big on thriving.

You guys already know this, but understanding how your body works and how you can sync your period to a way that's going to work for you instead of against you could really potentially help you in your life. So I want Brianna to just give us your own story as how you came to be in this niche and how everything's going. And then we'll just dive right in. Yeah, absolutely.

First, thanks for having me. It's so great to be here. I got into this niche. It started as like my own personal journey with my health.

In 2016, I discovered something called premenstrual dysphoric disorder. And what that is, is a heightened sensitivity to the normal fluctuations in hormones, where for two weeks out of the month, I would experience debilitating cognitive symptoms like depression, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, brain fog, like all of these things. That was really debilitating. And when I learned what that was, I was like, oh, this has been my entire life.

This has been my entire experience with my period since my very first period. And I've been, you know, living through high school, college, grad school, all this time, like trying to fit in all of my goals in two weeks out of the month and thinking that that's just what it is to be a woman. And once I got that diagnosis, the medical answers at the time were like the pill, antidepressants and medically induced menopause, which were just not really satisfactory answers for me at the time. So I just was like, well.

I have all of this grad school training and how to do research. I'm going to just figure out some answers on my own. And so I just started digging rabbit holes of Google and then ran across some books by Elisa Vitti, who coined the term cycle syncing. And she has books called In the Flow and Women Code.

And just like about this idea that you have these four distinct phases of your cycle. And if you actually designed your life around it and not even designed it, like you allowed that part of yourself to come out and to really be. Instead of trying to force yourself into a box that you were never designed to fit in, things just can be so much easier. And by kind of latching onto that and trying to implement that method, I just experienced such a change in the relationship with my body and my cycle and was able to release so much and now have so many more good days.

And it was so transformative for me. And when I started having conversations with other women, I'm like, no, one's talking about this. No one knows this is a thing. And it's not.

It's not just when your period is so bad that you have to find answers. It's when you show up at work, when you're, you know, having that day where you're like getting your husband and your kids and everyone to clean out closets and the garage, you know, like it's showing up in every part of your life. And we don't have to wait until it becomes debilitating symptoms to feel good and optimal in our experience as women. Yeah.

Okay. So a couple of questions here. First, you said. You said live normal for two weeks out of your life.

Does that mean that for like 50% of your life, you were struggling because of your cycle? Yeah. And what did that look like? So for me, it looked like I was very determined and obstinate that that would not be something that kept me from doing anything.

And so I grad school is a great example of that because it was just like three jobs in one. You're teaching, you're doing research, you're a student. And I would do. So much work ahead of time.

So in those two weeks, I would just like go all out. All my teachers were like, you can slow down on the assignments because I would just submit whatever I could ahead of time. And then those two weeks that were just like rough, like right before my period, I would just kind of like coast. And I do, I would accomplish like almost nothing.

Like it would be hard to get just like the bare minimum done. And then when that ended again, I would just like almost like batching my life in two weeks at a time. But as you can imagine, that was not sustainable. I was not doing okay.

I was getting the things done, but I did not feel good. It was having an impact on my relationship with my husband and it was just and with others because I essentially isolated a lot. Like I wasn't investing in friendships and community and all those things because I didn't have any additional capacity, which is also then like to now where I'm, you know, have a platform and I'm inviting other women like into my circle to like help them. Experience that to me, like when I look at that, that's when I see like that transformation of there was a time where like there was no space for any one else's needs really because of how debilitating it was.

And now like, you know, I'm taking on clients and, you know, all of these things. So it's just been incredible to see that like expansion and capacity. Yeah. I have multiple friends who, I mean, it's completely debilitating.

I have one specific one. And that comes to mind. She can't even get off her bathroom floor for a period of days. So it does take her out for about two weeks, but for a period of days, it's so intense that she even throws up.

She just, she's completely miserable during those times. And my heart goes out to her. I struggled with endometriosis for a long time, but eventually my body through pregnancy corrected itself. And so I don't struggle with that anymore.

But I remember that being something that was really hard. Which is not even close to some of the stuff that you've had to go through. So what was your journey as you went through this discovery? How did you go from where you were to where you are now to where you're like, Hey, this is part of my life.

I know how to navigate it. I'm doing better. Like, what did that journey look like? Yeah.

When I first learned about it, my first response to it, it was like, I was so angry about it because of just like how much, how many years I'd spent. Suffering and like, this is just like basic, like biology stuff. Like, that's what really got me. I'm like, this is just like the basics of how our bodies work.

Like, how is this not taught? How does no one know this? But what that really shined a light on for me was like how bad of a relationship I was in with my body, where I really felt like it was me versus my body. And so a lot of the process was trying to implement these like optimization practices of like, how do I adjust how I eat?

How I exercise? How I work around the phases of my cycle. And initially, like I, for me, because of where I was at, like those things weren't clicking at first. And so for me, I did have to work through a lot of mindset things of like, just releasing expectations on myself, things that I felt like I should be doing, ways that I thought my body should be, and actually starting to partner with it and say, if you're this tired, if you're in this much discomfort and pain, like you need something.

Yeah. You need some real support and actually partnering with it to meet those needs and really make it feel like safe, that it's okay, I'm going to take care of you, and I'm not going to just leave you on the side, which I've been doing for years of like, just pushing past it, ignoring it. So in my personal journey, it was a lot of that like mindset work that happened. And once I was able to kind of get to that place where like partnering with my body, then I saw those like practices of like.

Oh, like, if I, I can tell that when I eat certain foods at different points in my cycle, like it just tastes better. It's like, this just hit the spot, like I can tell when I sit down to my, you know, to my work day, and I'm like, I'm excited about the tasks that I have on my calendar today and I know that, like it's a match, where I'm at energetically, versus, you know, sitting down to like batch something and being like, great, this is what I set up this is the time I carved out for it. And I don't want to do this at all. Like, all I can think about is that one closet that's overflowing with Christmas stuff.

Yeah. Do you still just so do you still have PMDD? That is a great question. And one I struggled to answer for myself, because it's it's something that, you know, is kind of the way your brain's wired.

And so there is still a level of sensitivity. And I see that, where for me, like the the shifts between phases are very noticeable. Like I know, I feel that difference, like sometimes from. Like ovulation to luteal phase.

It's like I wake up and I'm like, all right, we've shifted, like I can feel it in my body. But I don't claim PMDD in the sense of like the, the criteria and the symptoms that go along with it. I don't experience two weeks of debilitating symptoms anymore. I am just aware of where I'm at, where my energy is at and how to work with that.

But no, now I have like a full month that I get to work. I have a full month, I actually get to feel like I'm here. Okay. What are some of the symptoms of PMDD for those people who don't know?

And this is premenstrual disorder. Yes. What are the symptoms of that? Yeah.

So the symptoms, a lot of times look like a lot of people refer to it as severe PMS. So a lot of the symptoms look the same, but having the, the key distinguisher between them is that the onset happens at ovulation or sometimes like the week before your period. And you experience. Like a shift off of that, like when your period starts.

So having depression, anxiety, brain fog can also almost suicidal ideation can also be a part of that. But yeah, if you really find yourself like having almost having this bipolar type experience, that's often a way that people describe it as well, where it's like, you almost have these weeks that you just feel so good and almost manic. And then you get the opposite of that, where it's just the lowest of lows and it can look really, really dark. But that kind of significance.

And I think that's a really important thing is that like offset of symptoms with the start of your period or within a couple of days of starting. Okay. So everyone, I mean, everyone's bodies are different, right? So it's going to look different for different people, but you said that through like, it's almost like you have fallen in, not fallen into, but you have moved into a space.

I didn't want to discount it. You're not falling into this. You have moved into a place where your body is more in alignment with itself. Yeah.

And there's certain foods that. Work for you. There's exercise that works for you. There's things that you've done, although your body is different.

So other people can't say, oh, that's going to work for me too. What are some things that did work for you? Like the foods that you're like, oh, okay, this really helped me. This exercise routine really helped me just to give our listeners like hope, and maybe they can implement some things you've done so that they can have a better like flow cycle as well.

Yeah. And I appreciate that, that comment about, you know, all of our bodies are different. So like the, the specific details of what works for each of us, will vary. But a lot of the things I implemented were things that are like, this is what healthy optimal looks like for a cyclical body.

So there has that broader application. And so like thinking about food, I do cycle sync certain like vegetables where it's like, I have more like lighter, fresher meals the week after my period focus on more of like smoothies, salads, stir fries, like that kind of preparation in the week. After my. Period through ovulation.

And the reason that that feels so good is because our bodies require less calories than we like lighter foods, lighter meals because our body's not doing as much work internally. So in your period ends, that's when your body could. Yeah. You'll hear you'll feel better with like lighter, lighter foods.

Okay. Cause you feel this boost in energy. And like, you probably are aware of that, like that lighter feeling, because you don't have either the bloat or even just like the uterus expands, like during our periods. So there's just less like pressure, all of those things feel lighter in general, have more energy.

So it's a great time, like exercise wise to like do intervals, push yourself a little bit harder, go a little bit longer at the gym. And you don't necessarily need to like go bulk up that much more in what you're eating, because it really is like you're matching your exercise and caloric output physically with like what you're taking in. And so those lighter preparations feel a little bit better and higher fibers really helpful to help. Like flush out any excess estrogen.

So you don't go into luteal, which is the week after ovulation with any imbalance between estrogen and progesterone. Yeah. And then after ovulation, what's happening there is our body starts like adding on to the uterus to prepare for a potential pregnancy or result in a period. And that's like a lot of work.

Your body's creating part of an organ. And that's a type of caloric output that we don't factor into our day. And we think like, well, this is what I ate last week. So that will be enough this week as well.

But research shows that our bodies need up to like 250 more calories a day during the week or two before a period. And so when you're feeling the cravings, when those hit that you want the chocolate, the potato chips, those things, it's our bodies really saying we're hungry. We need more food. We're doing a lot of work and we need to support that.

And the more that we keep our blood sugar stable in that window as well, that helps us stay stable. In our moods as well, when, because we have like a dip in serotonin and estrogen in that portion. So like that can feel more reactive. It can feel more sensitive and keeping our blood sugar stable goes such a long way in helping prevent, you know, the, the blowups and reactivity.

Wow. Okay. So I've been in the health and fitness industry for well over 20 years. I got into the industry full disclosure in 1997.

It's a long time. I have never even thought about that. Yeah. We are technically creating a part of an organ.

I have never even thought like, okay, this is why I'm craving this. Like I'm all, Oh, I'm craving the chips. It must be about time to start. You know, but I've never thought even through all the studying and all the things with the body that I've done, I have never even considered that.

And I want to go through, we probably should have done this at the beginning of the episode. But like the different phases of the period, like, okay. So you've just talked about them, but when is it that you're ovulating versus when are, you know, just that whole thing walk us through that. Yeah.

So can think of starting with your period. So the time that you're bleeding, that's the menstrual phase. And obviously the easiest one to be aware of and know that's happening. And then from the end of your period to ovulation is what's called the follicular phase.

And so that is where you're feeling. That like higher energy, you feel lighter, like mentally you're wanting to plan. You're wanting to take on new challenges. You want to schedule, you want to do all the fun things, basically.

You're kind of feeling more social and all of that stuff. And that kind of increases in peaks with ovulation. Some kind of emotional markers of ovulation is like feeling, having more of a sense of a glow, higher confidence, higher libido. And like that peak social, like you just want to be with other people communicating with them.

And obviously. That falls like within your spectrum of needing people I'm more introverted. So I'm like, for me, that's like, let's have a couple over for dinner. And I know for others that can be like, let's have a party or let's, you know, go out to the bar.

So like all of this falls within, you know, that with who you are. Um, but it kind of falls within that, that range. And then, um, some like biomarkers of ovulation is the easiest one to know and track without getting like, you know, too crazy with like taking your temperature and all that stuff. Um, but I think like, you know, like the, the most common way that you can get that off of your body is like with, um, cervical discharge, which is like, you know, the discharge that you see in your panties and like the more.

Of it that there is the stretch here. It is like, those are all indications that you're ovulating. So that's like a really easy way. It's like, you know, you're in the bathroom, you're, you're seeing it all anyway.

So it just. Right. Okay. Question there.

What about when the boobs are swelling? Is that ovulation or is that not? When is that happening? So that can happen around ovulation.

You can also experience that like around your period as well. Yeah. Cause I never know. Okay.

So I have an IUD and I'm always like mixed feelings about my IUD, but the only thing I know. So yeah, the discharge is there, but also, so I don't, it's very rare if I bleed ever. So it's like, I don't really know when that's going to happen. Cause it might happen once every few months, but the swelling boobs is a thing.

So I'm like, is that during ovulation or is that like, right. Cause that always feels like that happens before the period starts. Yeah. That makes sense.

Um, and the thing with the IUD is that, um, is a little bit different with this process is you can have ovulatory cycles while you're on an IUD occasionally, but it's not like consistently every single month. So finding what that pattern is for you might take a little bit more like figuring out what signs do you see that are consistent? So like the boobs swelling, like that's consistent. And so if you can see, is that matching up with that, like more discharge happening, then that's a good sign that that's like happening around that, like mid cycle ovulation.

Or if it's happening, like, and you're experiencing dryer, like sticky discharge, like it's more likely that it's around that like period portion, even if you're not happy. Maybe TMI, maybe not, but I was just curious that like, I wanted to go through the stages or the phases of it as well. Cause some people are so on point with it and other people, including myself are like, I mean, it's happening, but I don't know, like I don't pay attention. So interesting.

So what would you, what else would you want to share with the audience? When it comes to like, just tuning into their body and going with the flow and understanding that this is just part of our makeup. So it's, it's okay. Like let's use it for benefit now with that.

Well, okay. I'm pausing you go. And then I have another question for you. Okay.

Yeah. I think the biggest thing, the biggest takeaway is really like giving ourselves permission to live cyclically and to allow our bodies to be different every day. Or no. Not necessarily every day, every phase and give space for that.

And I like to draw these parallels between like how that works for men, because we live in this like 24 hour mentality and our society is built around that of like, you know, the eight to five or nine to five work day and the rinse and repeat. And that really like flows from male hormone patterns being the default. Cause what happens for men is there when they wake up in the morning, their testosterone and cortisol are the highest. So they're like, I want to get in the gym.

I'm going to have my best performance. I have my, the most energy. I want to do my hardest things at work. My most productive time is first thing in the morning.

Then as it moves a little bit later in the day, their testosterone starts to dip and they become more sensitive to their estrogen levels. And that's when they want to have happy hour and meetings and they feel more social and want more connection. And then in like the evening, their testosterone is dropping off to its lower points. And so they become a little bit more reclusive.

Right. The, I want to have a beer and watch the game or video games or like that decompression time after work is because their hormones are dropping off. And we experienced those same shifts through like high energy productivity to like highest being higher on like that social scale. And then we also feel those dips in our hormones.

And that for us though, happens around our period when our hormones are at their lowest. So we feel the most kind of reclusive in that time. We feel the biggest need for rest. And I like to draw these parallels because it's like men are already doing this.

They're doing things when their energy is most aligned. They're giving themselves permission to do that. And it's not a conscious decision because it's the default. But even if you think about like that idea of like allowing ourselves to rest on our periods, we think about this as like, you know, you can't do that.

You have to keep going. You have to stay at the same level. When men's hormones are at their very lowest, they're sleeping. It's the lowest overnight.

They sleep through. It's the entire, like low portion of it. And they wake up at their highest level, ready to go. And like, that's great.

But it's also like, yeah, I want that permission. Like, come on. Yeah. But it's giving ourselves permission that it's like, it's happening at a different time.

And our cycle is different, but this idea of giving ourselves permission to work with our natural ebb and flow of energy is just being human. Like, it's not some special like woman thing. It's not weak. It's not any of those things.

It's just like, this is how we. Exist in the world and we can create space for that. Yeah. So good.

And so interesting. And if you're a female, which like the majority of our listeners are, we all have a cycle, right? What, even if you're through menopause, your body is still doing things. Your body still has hormones.

So it's still important to be aware of how your body works. So interesting. Okay. So one more question I have is, um, I have a group of friends and we call it the rage when the period comes around, like it is like this underlining like rage.

And so motherhood becomes harder. Everything becomes harder because, and we're like, this is not me. I feel like I'm a monster and I'm not trying to be a monster, but like, why? Like we even made t-shirts that are called the rage is real.

Like the rage is real. And it is about our period. So what is that about? This is such a, such a good question.

It's so important. It's so true. We all experience it. And I think like you're saying, when you add on like work and motherhood and all of these other roles, that rage grows.

Um, and the reason that it does is because our hormones are at their lowest point and our two hemispheres of the brain are most in connection and communication with one another, which is our conscious and like subconscious selves. And what that translates to is we are the most in tune with what our needs are. And oftentimes when we have all these roles, how those needs are going to change. We're not being met, how we're being stretched beyond like what our body needs at that moment, how boundaries that we have or haven't said are being crossed.

And that often shows up as rage because we're trying to push beyond that and still show up as like the, the mom who's doing all the things, the Pinterest mom, the soccer mom, the, you know, whatever. And I like to, to say with that too, those, like, we often think of like menstrual phase and periods. It's like, no, one's a huge fan of them, but it's the only phase that's a hundred percent there for you. Because once you pass through that, you go the week after in follicular phase and your estrogen shoots up, your serotonin shoots up and you're like, everything's great.

You have this like hormonal amnesia. You want to take care of all the things you want to cut the orange slices. Like that feels good. But that period is there to remind us that we also need to take care of ourselves and gives us those reminders of like, how do we bring our partners, our kids, our family in that?

It's not just me running the show, but we're a team. And so I think that's a really important part of it. And I think that's a really important part of it. It's like, how do we bring our partners, our kids, our family in a support system so that when you are in those lower phases, it doesn't become like the rage outburst.

It's like, Hey, this is that day where I'm extra tired. Remember the plan we talked about how you're going to help. Like now's the time actually saying, Hey, guess what? This is when I need some help.

Yeah. And when you have this conversation, right? Like we've said the conversation before the range is exactly. Yeah.

And that's the great thing about this awareness is knowing that like, Oh, so in the week after my period and leading up to August. Like I am kind of in this calmer space, I'm able to communicate more clearly. And that's a great time to have those family meetings to be like, this is when I asked for help. Like, this is what that looks like.

Here's the tools you need to actually do that. So then when you are in those more sensitive, reactive rage, ragey places, you don't have to go into full like communication mode or full, like, let me give you a detailed outline of how you can help me because that's the worst thing. And that moment is to feel like you have to tell them exactly how to do it. Cause then you might as well do it yourself.

Right. Exactly. And that's what we're going to do. Right.

Just trying to like keep up with everything while we have this like underlining rage. And we're like, at any given moment, ready to burst. Yeah. And that doesn't serve anyone else either.

Right. Because they're like, when's it coming? We know it's coming, but we don't know when it's going to happen or at what. So there's that, you know, general like sense of tension and unease in the home as well.

And cause we do set the tone. As women, like we're running, but we're running the show. We're running like that, that vibe in our home, which is, can be either pressure or it can be something that's really empowering and powerful that we get to have a say in that and shift that. And the more self-awareness we have about how we're showing up in each phase and each day, you know, in our homes and in our businesses that we get to, you know, show up with that energy and, and have it be something that is life-giving as opposed to something that's taking everyone.

Including ourselves off guard. Right. So good. I wanted to touch on that.

So thank you for answering that question. Okay. You have shared a plethora of information. It's been so interesting.

I've loved our conversation. Do you have one more nugget of wisdom you want to leave with the audience before we say goodbye? Yeah. The last thing I would say is just to be the expert of your own body.

Like your body's already telling you everything that it needs and paying attention to ways that you resist those signals, especially like your periods. Yeah. It's a really easy one to start with because it's one we're most out of line with, you know, what our schedules look like and our, you know, society is telling us, but it's why do you feel so resistant to taking a nap or to slowing down or to moving something off your calendar and just recognizing that your body's giving you these signals and getting louder and louder with any symptoms that you might be experiencing because it needs support. And once you can shift that perspective of like, this is happening to me, as opposed to like your body's doing all of this for you so that you can continue to show up in the fullness of who you are in all the areas of your life that you want to show up in and taking that pause can be the most productive thing that you can do.

Yeah. Allowing yourself to pause. This right here is the lesson that I think I've learned. Like it's been in my face for months now is like learning how to push pause.

That's the continual lesson for me. And I'm sure it's for a lot of other people too. So thank you so much for being on. The podcast and sharing your knowledge.

It has been such an honor to have you here. And it's been really fun for me just to like, look at this from like a perspective I have not even considered. So thank you so much. Oh, of course.

Thank you for having me. And guys, we will tune right back in here next week on the thrive, her podcast. Thank you for tuning in and we'll see you next time. Bye.

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Let's get to work. Work and thrive together. Bye.