Addiction & How to Rise Above It

It's also very cool to think about and also talk about and share that, like, in this three and a half years of me being clean, like, what I've accomplished, right? So once we as humans take control of our lives and hold ourselves accountable for what we are doing in our lives that are making it uncomfortable and making ourselves unhappy, the power that we have within to be able to really design the life that we want. Welcome to the Thrive Her podcast. I'm your host, Amy Sanders.

I'm a fitness and wellness pro, mom, stepmom, second wife, and master certified life coach. I'm here to help you manage your mind so you can uncover the most potent version of yourself and create the thriving life you love. Hey, hey, welcome back to the podcast. Today, we're talking about a subject that honestly, I have never hit on the podcast.

And I'm excited because it's something that I think a lot of people struggle with, or they know someone, they have a loved one who's going through this, and you really don't know how to support them or how to help them or yourself. We are talking about addiction, specifically drug addiction. And I have a beautiful woman here with me today. Her name is Mandy Alexis, and she was a functioning cocaine addict for over 16 years.

She's now been clean for three years. She started this journey when she was really young, like at 12 years old is the first time that she tried weed. And then she started experimenting and went down this whole other path. And so she's here.

Her passion is helping inspire women and showing them, inspiring everyone really, but helping motivate people to live, learn how to overcome these types of addictions and how to grow, live healthy lives. And be happy along the journey. So she also lives on her own terms. So she travels and she totally, I'm going to have you talk more about that.

So let's, let's hear a little bit more about your story. Welcome. We're happy to have you here, Mandy. Hi, thank you.

Yeah. So tell me a little bit more, tell the audience a little bit more about you and then we'll just dive in. Yeah. So, I mean, basically most of my life, I have been using something to alter my reality, my feelings, my goals.

Journey, right? Like, as you had mentioned, 16 years functioning cocaine addict. So I started using when I was 19 and then went all the way to like, well, now it's about three and a half years that I'm finished, like that since I finished. But yeah, like I started smoking weed at 12 and then by 14, 15, we were, you know, experimenting with acid and mushrooms.

Alcohol was mixed in with that. Then 16, 17, like ecstasy. Still with all those other drugs, like combined and being used. And then yeah, 19 came around, started going to the bar.

I was like working in a restaurant and then I tried cocaine and just stuck with me. Like I, I honestly thought that, well, I'm just like, I'll be able to stop whenever I want. Right. And because I was functioning, like I, you know, was holding jobs down.

I was still like going to school, like, like taking courses. I was volunteering. So my outside world. It looked like I had it all together.

So I was like, oh, I don't have a problem. I don't have a problem. But like, it was obviously a problem and it was destroying me on the inside, which took years for me to actually acknowledge and admit to. And basically it was kind of like, I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.

Right. Like I'd be up sometimes for days. So it's still going to work. Like, and I just didn't want to feel that way anymore.

I didn't want to have those unhealthy relationships. So. I was attracting, like, I didn't want to feel like paranoid or confused, like all the things that come with being an addict. I was just done.

Right. And I think, you know, like a lot of people will reach their breaking point and then, then decide enough is enough. Right. And I mean, mine was years and years.

And yeah, it's just crazy for me to think that I was for most of my life, this other version of myself and immersed in this party life. And only spoke. Three and a half years clean and how much I've accomplished and changed in those three and a half years. Like that other version of me is pretty fuzzy right now.

And it feels like this is just who I am or, and, you know, I mean, yeah. So tell me what took you to the breaking point? Cause I mean, it was the majority of your life that you were down this road. So what was it that you're like, wait, okay, I'm done.

Was there like a certain thing that happened or was it like, tell us a little more about that. Yeah. So it was. It was basically, it was a relationship.

I was, I met this guy, I had already was like trying to stop or whatever, but then I met this guy and he was like, oh yeah, I'm trying to stop too. Well, the relationship didn't go that way. We, instead we got like worse, right? Like, because we were both still using, like trying to stop, but because we both still used, it was easy excuse just to like do it together.

And I actually got more into it than I had been for probably that last year. And that, that relationship, like it, it just, it was very unhealthy. Like the way that he treated me, the way that we operated together, like he kind of had a nervous breakdown and just like switched into something like a monster almost. Like I didn't recognize him anymore.

And like, that was a big eye opener to me being like, holy crap. Like if I want the kind of love that I deserve and like, that would is healthy and happy. Like I need to change. I need to change who I am because I'm only going to attract how my lifestyle is, right?

Like, yeah. So that was a big aha moment. So I did start on that journey and like there, there were steps, right? So I was looking for new community, which is, was very important, obviously, because my whole life I had been involved with all these party people.

And well, it was some, I stumbled upon a community on Facebook actually. And their whole mission was about. Like uplifting others and inspiring others. And so part of being in the community was you would like create memes and just post it in, in, in this group to like help, you know, lift up the spirits of the community.

And I actually discovered that I had like a talent for taking like nice photos and I come up and then I have a matching motivational saying. And so I post these in there and the feedback I was getting, you know, like people would be. Saying, oh, I really needed to see that, that today, or, oh my God, like, thank you so much for this. And so that was one of my motivators to keep on this journey of becoming clean and bettering myself because I was having this impact and it really, it helped me helping others.

So that was another big step, right? Yeah. And so there was a combination, like things just kept snowballing from there. Right.

And I really started learning about my addiction and learning about what the. Effects were, what it was doing to me and what was going to happen to me once I stopped doing drugs, because I wanted to kind of understand the changes because we, you know, in any kind of movie or book or whatever you read, you know, there's withdrawal. Well, I wanted to kind of understand what was going to happen to me. And even with the understanding of it, it was still, oh my, it was, it was hell to say the least, like it, it was painful.

So it was, but. Can we talk about. Can we talk about the withdrawal? Because a lot of people don't want to go through that piece to get clean.

Right. They know like, ah, there's going to be this withdrawal. Tell us a little bit about your experience as you were going through that. Yeah.

So one thing was that. Like my brain actually like felt like it was like on fire at some points, like, and it was rebuilding itself and it was like getting, you know, chemicals, like healthy chemicals, like that your body naturally produces like dopamine and serotonin. And that. It stopped producing because I was feeding it, it through the drugs.

So your body just decides, says like, oh, I guess I don't need to do that anymore because you're doing it right. So my body had to relearn how to do that. And then like when it was doing it, like, yeah, it was just crazy. And then you put holes in your brain when you do cocaine.

Well, your brain can heal and it was healing, but it, it would hurt. And. Just the fuzziness of like feeling almost like I was in a dream. And I remember like thinking to myself, like, oh my God, like why, what, like, why am I putting myself through this?

Right. And, but then I was my own advocate in the sense where I'd be like, because I want better. And I actually talked to other addicts who had been recovered for years and it really did help me too, to hear them say like, it gets better. Like, you know, it, this will pass like, like, you know, and no.

I'm not going to feel this way forever, but yeah, it was, it was tough, but having a support team, having the knowledge, having the fight inside me, knowing I wanted better really helped keep me going. A couple of things that like, I want to touch on is one that you're like, Hey, my brain had holes, but the brain can heal. Like you can heal your brain, no matter what, where you're at. The brain can start to re-synapse.

The brain can start. To grow all the chemicals can come back because even people with depression, they struggle with that. They, they struggle with the serotonin levels and the dopamine and whatever. Right.

And that's, that's different than drug use, but it's still something that happens. Yeah. The brain can heal. How long was not the healing process when you felt like you were going through all the withdrawals that stage?

How long was that? That part was probably around like six months where like, it really like hurt, like in a sense, right? Like where, cause it, but it wasn't constant either. Like, so that's something that's important for people to understand.

Like it's not constant. It, it didn't happen all the time, but it did happen. But then it was about after six months where it was like lesser, lesser, lesser. The full first year was my most challenging year when it came to sticking to it and the hard part of the healing.

Right. And not only just because of what my body was doing. But also because I needed to. To change everything about the way I was socially.

Right. So, cause every, everything that I did involved a party. Like we'd go bowling. We'd get high.

Like, you know, we'd go to a work function. We'd get high. We'd go to a concert. We'd get high.

So all of these things that like were the things I loved to do were all still involved drugs. So I, I had to for a while, just actually kind of stop doing drugs. Right. And then I started doing all these things and regroup and really take a step back and do things like just walks during the day with friends, ice cream.

You know, I, like I read a lot of books, listen to a lot of podcasts, a lot of just phone calls, like, so that I was like staying in, in a way. Cause it's not good to, to become like, like just to take yourself completely away. You need connection. You need people.

Exactly. Yeah. But yeah, I had to read, like assess everything I was doing. And actually.

I learned all about me. I felt like a toddler, like, you know, like rediscovering the world in a sense. Like, what do I actually like to do? Like, who are the people that I'm actually connected with?

Like, who is Mandy sober? You know? And it was a very like interesting journey. And there were some very hard times.

I discovered I'm very much an empath and the energies of people and environments very much affect me. So I used to love going to the, to like, you know, to the bar and dancing. Like I still love to dance, but I would notice that like the, it's not like, you know, the enjoyment wasn't there. Like once I was able to go back into that setting, you know, like I was absorbing everything around me and it wasn't, wasn't really fun anymore.

So I had to find new ways to be able to like have that kind of entertainment in my life without it affecting me in other ways. Right. So it was just the whole journey was like opening up myself to the world for the first time. Yeah.

So you've been clean for three years, which is amazing. Congratulations. So when you, when you go into a bar now and when you do some of these things that might be triggers, like how is that, does that affect you now? Or do you feel like you're good?

Yeah, no, I feel like I'm good. Like I was like the first year was very challenging. I knew I couldn't go into places and stuff, but I feel very disconnected now from that, that world. So it's like, I don't want to go back.

And so I can go to go do these things. I don't want to do these things that I like that used to surround the party and not feel triggered or, or like the need to partake in drugs anymore. So that's really good. So I still like to go and dance and I still like to go to concerts.

I still want to go bowling. Right. So, yeah. So those triggers are gone, but I mean, it, it, there was a lot of work put in to be able to get to the point where I would, I could be in those kinds of social scenes.

Yeah. And even in the sense of like how it affected me energetically and, you know, like it wasn't just about stopping the addiction. It was also about going within and dealing with my traumas from my childhood, all of the shit that piled up throughout the years that like, I just pushed down, you know, like, right. Like I think bad would happen.

Oh, let's just go like get drinks and do drugs and like, we'll have a good cry, but then we just won't really deal with it. You know, but we'd also, So do that if something great happened to us, let's go celebrate. Let's just go do some drinks and have some drugs and like celebrate. Right.

I was reason to do it. And I realized I had to unpack a lot of stuff when I decided to get clean. But doing that, I also believe helped keep me on this journey of sobriety of like, you know, no cocaine. And then as well as how I feel personally, like I feel a lot lighter.

I feel a lot calmer. I feel a lot more flowier. I, my, my mind works differently. Like everything just, you know, like flows better because I'm literally constantly working on releasing layers of, of what was, you know?

Yeah. Did you have help when you're going through this? So you had the Facebook support group or that, you know, that you went to all the motivational stuff and you're like, okay, okay. Oh, I'm actually good at this.

And they're commenting. All right. There's this piece of me that's like coming alive. And then you also talked to people who were recovered addicts.

Did you go through any kind of therapy and stuff too? Or were you able to do this on your own? Yeah, no, I didn't do, I didn't go to rehab or anything like that. However, like it, it, it, I, I don't know the universe lined this up for me perfectly in the sense of the last time I had done it, which was when I was like, I was like, okay, like I have to have.

I actually had a trip planned to Costa Rica two weeks after the, after that, which was just, just happened to be right. And so I went to Costa Rica for two months, right? Like two weeks after I'd made the decision, like I'm done. And that trip was already planned prior to this, like, you know, one and done feeling.

So I was, had that, I guess you could say was like a rehab for me because I was in a completely different environment. Yeah. New people, new things. Like, you know, I was outside in nature all the time, like doing all these things that were helping me heal.

So, you know, I was very grateful for that trip that was lined up. Just, you know, the timing just was divine. I guess you could say. Yeah.

I believe in divine timing and universe and God and all the things, you know, you just have to make sure that you're tuning into it and listening. And listening to your heart and really all of those things. So what is your plan now? So you've been recovered for three and a half years.

You're now living life on your own terms. You're traveling. Where do you see yourself going from here? All right.

Well, I have a few different visions for myself. Like first is I want to continue talking about my story and explaining and giving people the inspiration. And the. For themselves, like that life can change.

I believe it's very important for us to talk about that because actually one of the things that helped me as well during my journey was listening to other people talk about how they used to be here and now they're here. So it's like I was like, well, they can do it. I can do it like anything is possible. Right.

Like, so I want to be that voice for people as well as I really would want to put on retreats is one of the things. Like I. I feel I have two different visions for retreats. One would be more of like coming to discover new modalities like, you know, an intro to meditation and yoga and tapping and sound healing and all that kind of stuff where people could come and learn about it and then do the practices.

And then, you know, the hopes in the end would be that they'd be able to take away a mixture of the ones that that spoke most to them and then have these tools moving forward. And then the other one would be more of a relaxed rejuvenation type of retreat where, you know, the busy people or anyone really, but, you know, could come and really reconnect with themselves because you probably know in the world today, everyone go, go, go, go, go. And sometimes we forget to take a moment and listen to what we need and listen to what we actually want. So giving holding that space for people to be able to come.

And do that and just really connect with themselves and their soul and, and listen to those messages that are trying to come through and take care of themselves and then come out of it, feeling rejuvenated and ready and knowing for those next steps. Yeah. Sounds amazing. I want to come.

Thanks. Let me know when it's open and I'm all in. I love your mission though, because you're going to be able to, and I'm sure you already have. Inspire.

So many people to, to see what's possible. It doesn't matter what you're struggling with. If it's an addiction or something else, like truly, we do get to decide for ourselves what works for us and what doesn't and what we want and that we're worthy of it. I'm sure there was times where you were like, well, this is just me, I guess.

Like I'm not worthy of more. These are my, this is my social circle. So I guess I'll just keep going. Yeah.

For sure. You know, and being saying, okay, so what really does feel good to me? So it's an amazing road that you went through and are on. Yeah.

Thank you. That must've been, I mean, I can't even imagine. Cause that was a lot of years of addiction. Yeah.

It's, it's, it's very crazy to think, but you know, it's also very cool to think about and also talk about and share that like in this three, three and a half years of me being clean, like what I've accomplished. So once we, as humans are take control of our lives and hold ourselves accountable for what we are doing in our lives that are making it uncomfortable and making it ourselves unhappy. The power that we have within to be able to, to, to really design the life that we want is there. We just have to tap into it and take control and, you know, it, it, it can be challenging and.

And there will be, you know, our, uh, you know, the, the hiccups and the bumps and the tears and the fall downs and all that stuff. But that's all part of the process. We are always going to learn from that. Right.

And part of the journey. So what have you're like, I've accomplished all these things in the last three years. So what have you done for you? What have you accomplished that maybe you wouldn't have had you not?

Yeah. Well, like first, like the, the amount of inner work that I've done. I, I am so impressed with myself, like going through my father wounds, going through my mother wounds, um, under like, you know, looking at the, you know, as, um, the ancestral lineage is, and what that has caused me, um, for struggles and pain. Um, the, the limiting beliefs that I have, um, changed within my brain conditioning, um, the boundaries that I have put up with people.

Well, mainly it's my family, like, you know, because we were very conditioned, you know, family's everything, you know, blood is stronger. You know, do you, you, you always be there for them no matter what, to lease, I was conditioned that way. And then sometimes they're the people who treat you the worst. So, but being able to finally put up that, that, those boundaries of like how I, I deserve to be treated and, you know, set.

that tone with certain people and get what I deserve from them or cut them off if need it be, right? So even so not having those, those toxic relationships in my life anymore. And then also just designing my life where I can take my work with me. So I do promotional branding is like how I, you know, create an income.

And when I was introduced into this industry, it was very much, you're at your desk nine to five, you work Monday to Friday. And I was like, I don't want to do that. So I'm going to figure out a way to make this my own. And I have been in the industry for eight years, but now two and a bit years, I've done my stuff independently and I have found a way to be able to just do it from anywhere.

And that was like super cool to me. Yeah. Like I, yeah. So this job that I was, told had to be done at a desk at these hours, blah, blah, blah.

You know, I was like, no, I think it can be done differently. And I did it and well, I was healing and would like, you know, so two years I've been independent. So as I was healing and getting over this addiction and figuring out who I was, I was also creating an online business so that I can leave and work from anywhere. So just like, you know, just once I started taking care of myself and realizing the value that I, am and putting my brain back together, like, you know, like it was like, wow, look what I can do, you know?

So just, just letting people know that if we, you know, take, make healthy choices and have healthy habits, like we, we are unstoppable, you know? Totally. Yes. You've completely changed your life.

So incredible. I've loved this conversation. So if there was, if there was one little piece of, advice that you'd want to leave with the audience, you've already given them a lot. What would it be?

I would say to just believe in yourself and, you know, like, even if you have those days that don't feel like, you know, you are getting anywhere, like you are like, just to, to, to know that you matter, to know that you are powerful, to know that you're here for a reason and to just, to just love yourself. And, and believe in yourself to be able to create whatever it is that you want. So important. Believe in yourself.

It's actually the best thing you can do because, because as much as you can believe in yourself as, as far as you're going to go in your life and in your goals, right? So turn inward, believe in yourself. Thank you so much for being on the podcast today. I've loved our conversation.

And I know that a lot of people are going to be able to resonate with that and just see, even if you don't struggle with addiction, just see what's possible. So she decided to change her life and she did, she created a life that works for her. That's thriving for her and you can too. So thanks again, Mandy, for being on the podcast and guys, we'll tune in again next week.

See you guys. Thank you. Hey, if you enjoyed listening to this podcast, then you've got to come check out my signature program at Thrive Camp. This is where we do real coaching and inner work transformation.

I teach you how to apply the strategies and mindset tools we talk about here on the podcast. So you can unlock your true potential and create the life you love. For more info, go to amysanders. co forward slash thrive dash camp.

Again, that's amysanders. co forward slash thrive dash camp. Let's get to work and thrive together. Thank you so much for tuning in.

I'll see you guys next week. Bye.