Re-centering Your Life Around The Higher Power

For me and my own personal journey and healing, it really had to do with accepting my past and my childhood and just how the disease of alcoholism affected me and my decision making. I mean, I fell into a classic bucket of just people pleasing and falling into all of the shoulds, you know, Ashley, you should have a job, you should do this, you should do. And I really lost touch with what I wanted, but deep down inside my intuition. Now I, for me, now I know that was God, but it was my intuition that always just felt like something was a little bit off.

Welcome to the Thrive Her podcast. I'm your host, Amy Sanders. I'm a fitness and wellness pro, mom, stepmom, second wife, and master certified life coach. I'm here to help you manage your mind so you can uncover the most potent version of yourself and create a thriving life you love.

Welcome back everyone to the Thrive podcast. I am here today with a special guest speaker. I'm so honored to have her here. Her name is Ashley Bush and Ashley Bush helps inspire women in a very similar way I do.

So I'm excited to have her share her wisdom with you guys. And it's totally up the alley of everything that we like to talk about, but her niche is just slightly different because she helps women, moms specifically, help them get through that time. Time of unplanned motherhood. So she's a mom.

She has a 16 year old. She has a two year old and a one year old. So there's, there's a gap. She's had, you know, her own life experiences and things I'll let you tell, or I'll let her tell more of her story, but I wanted to welcome Ashley, the podcast.

And today we're going to talk a lot about how to just reconnect and recenter our lives around the higher power. Now. I believe in God, universe, whatever it is, but I believe in all of it. And Ashley's going to talk about that as well.

So welcome, Ashley, tell us a little bit more about you, and then we're going to dive right into this juicy topic. Awesome. Thank you, Amy. I'm so glad to be here and just be on your podcast.

I love everything that you're doing. So I am, I'm outside of St. Louis, Missouri and a small little town. So I'm here in the Midwest land landlocked, but just, yeah, mom of three.

So I finally got to retire. My other job is an Uber. Driver because my oldest just turned 16 last month. So it's really nice to let her, let her drive now with the one and two year old I'm exhausted at night.

So, you know, no more waiting up for buses to get back from volleyball games. She can drive herself. So it really is a pivotal moment in a mom's life for the daughter or, you know, the child to turn 16 and actually be able to get themselves places though. Awesome.

Yes. Amazing. Okay. So mom and dad.

So mom of three and you retired from your job and now you are an entrepreneur helping women. Tell me more about that. What was that road? Like going from working to now this.

It's been quite a journey. I mean, in my story, I mean, it's pretty, pretty new in the sense that it was just a year ago that I really dipped my toe into the online space and met such incredible online entrepreneurs, business owners. I. Was working for the advanced women.

Expert network. I don't know if you're familiar with it, but Laura Meyer, Kelly Roach, they're there. And so I got to go to a big event of Kelly's last year was last October and it was being in this room and being around a ton of entrepreneurs and listening to them and just their growth, their stories. I realized very quickly I was hired on as the marketing manager that I realized, oh no, like I, it was, it was great, but it was like, I saw myself going to the next level.

I knew I was in the room of people that I wanted to be on that side. I wanted to help make a difference, make an impact. So I get back, I get back from that experience. I'm learning a lot.

I loved everything. But as throughout that process, I was meeting other coaches, meeting people, doing this life-changing work and really stepping into their power. I was just enamored and, and I don't know. So yeah, January or early, you know, earlier this year, I went through B school for Marie Forleo and just really made some dramatic changes in my life and just got serious about what Ashley wanted.

And I'm on. I'm on a journey of really rediscovering who I am and love helping women along the process. And it's always been, I just have a heart and a service for helping moms as they experience unplanned motherhood. So I'm assuming that you have experienced some unplanned motherhood because you have a one-year-old and a two-year-old.

I do. Yeah. So, uh, yeah. So the 60 year old was a major surprise.

I was 20, just turned 21, you know, partying, having fun in college. And found out that I was pregnant when I came home from Christmas break. So I have her, uh, my husband and I just celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary. And so like a lot of couples, you know, we were married for a few years.

We thought that we would have children and I got pregnant quickly. The first time we decided to quote unquote, try and experience my first loss. And it was devastating. I mean, I was not prepared for it because I had a baby younger when I wasn't wanting a baby.

So I really was not prepared for the loss. That, that I would feel and it, it, it broke my heart. And so it took us three years to try again. Then we had another loss, kept trying, trying, trying, and then seven years later, just decided to just call it quits.

And then we would just be a family of three and we would have a beach house that we always would joke. Like we're going to have a beach house in Florida. And now we kid that the beach houses are, are two, two kids in the room next door. So yeah, it was boom, boom.

We got, we had, I have my, my Todd, Tessa. And then when she was six months old, I took 14 pregnancy tests and told my oldest husband, I'm I know I'm pregnant. And they're like, no, you're not. Yes I am.

And lo and behold, I have my youngest. So. Okay. So when you got pregnant, I just want to like, still walk down this little road.

Yes. Were you on infertility or anything, or did this, were these just like all of a sudden it worked? Yeah, no. It's a great question.

No, we had talked about it. And so I was seeing my OB for us. We decided not to go that route. I just didn't want the hormones and the medicine.

And so we, we decided, no, we had gone away October of 2018, went to, we were, we're big hockey fans. So we were at St. Louis blues. We're at a hockey game.

Okay. You know, we're bar hopping, having a good time and we decide just no. So I, we just chose that was not the route that we wanted to go for our family. So I was not.

And so it was a complete surprise. So the, and my daughter was born the following October I was in with my oldest thinking I'm getting sick. I was like, oh my gosh, I want to, when I have my period last, could I, could I be pregnant? Go by a test.

I remember like I was a teenager, I'm hiding in the closet in our master bedroom and I call my husband. I'm like, you're not going to believe this, but I just took a test at it. I'm pregnant. He's like, are you serious?

Yeah. All of the emotions. Like what? Yeah.

We didn't think it could happen. So yeah. I mean, but I think the stress may be of trying, you know, but it's so hard when you know that you want to have a family on your own. And anyways, no, so many women struggle with that.

I know. I know that just so many women are like, I struggle with to get pregnant or I'm going through this long road and it's comforting to know that other women have gone through it and can be a support system and that's what you can be for them. And so all three of them essentially have been surprises for you. Three out of three.

Yes. Yeah. And then I joke like when I'm talking, yeah, my two that I planned are in heaven, you know, but yeah, all that. My earthly babies are.

Yeah. They were, they were unplanned. And so, and I had no idea how hard it would be to have two that are 15 months apart. Absolutely no idea.

I was a mom the other day that had five freaking out when she was going to have her six. So those feelings are real. Those fears are real. Yeah.

All of them are real. Yeah. Okay. So let's kind of move towards, you're saying that you have gone down this journey and you've really realized to just recenter and connect.

Yeah. You're higher power. So tell me like, what has that looked like for you in your life? And how can women listening realize how they can start implementing this to, to where they can connect?

Cause I, so I've asked you this question now, I'm going to keep talking because answer it in a minute, but so often I think we feel lost and that we're alone, but we were never alone. That's just our thoughts. We always have more. I believe that there are guardian angels all around us that can help guide us, but we have to ask, I believe that the universe will work in our favor, but we have to ask, I believe that there's a God that loves us, but again, just like any other relationship, we have to do our part to, in order to have that relationship and so tell me about your experience.

Okay. Finally, like, all right, I'm surrendering. Let's yeah, it's been a journey and I, for me and my own personal journey and healing, it really had to do with accepting my past and my childhood and just how the disease of alcoholism affected me and my decision-making. I mean, I, I fell into a classic bucket of just people pleasing and falling into all of the shoulds, you know, Ashley, you should have a job.

You should do this. You should do. I really lost touch with what I wanted, but deep down inside my intuition. Now I, I, for me now, I know that was God, but it was my intuition that always just felt like something was a little bit off.

So after I experienced my losses, it was just like staying with the job. Cause I tried to do this 10 years ago. And then I got really, when I had the miscarriages, it just kind of set me on this path of like, I got depressed after the first one, because it was totally, it just, I was depressed. And so I just kind of life for a total loop.

You finally think you're going to have this child. And then, yeah, it's been this long road and it doesn't happen. Yeah. It doesn't happen.

I mean, I was ready, like having the room, you know, ready. I mean, I couldn't walk in that extra bedroom for a long time. I just had a hard time. So to keep trying to grow my ex, my little side hustle at the time, which was a blog and doing a lot of doing different types of work to help women.

I just, I quit because it was just too much and I, I just quit. And so I stopped listening to inner voice. And so it really just took to getting a place where through each pregnancy, I, for me, it was always there. Each pregnancy was a spiritual journey.

So by the time I had Gemma, I'm like, all right, I, I need to make some changes. I wanted to get out of the ad agency life, wanted to find something that really spoke to me. And I was feeding her one day. Cause I was looking for different jobs and I read the job description and it was something, it just spoke to me.

Everything jumped off the page and I was like, I've got to do this. I had to submit a video for it. I'm like, I'm going to just do it. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to go there. And I did it. And it was hard, but it was awesome. So I just think for women that are listening.

Just trust your intuition. Like you, we know inside what we need to do. It's just getting the courage and being around people like you listening to other people that have gone before us and, and knowing that we can do it, we can live our best lives. I know.

And life adds and flows. So before we hit record, Ashley and I talked about some of our own hardships. We had our own little bonding moment, but things are always like one thing we can count on is that there will be ups and downs. No matter what you are going through.

You are going to get there. You are going to have ups and downs in your life. And those downs can just, I mean, blindside you, but it's what you choose to do with it. So are you going to be a victim and let this define your life?

Or are you going to be hero of your own story? I talk about this a lot and step up and say, okay, so yes, this happened, but what do I do now? So often women give away all their power and they, people, please, like, I would love to know the percentage, the true percentage. Like the actual.

Actually like the percentage of women who people please turning away from their own tuition. Ooh, sure. It's a lot. I mean, I bet it's in the eighties or nineties percentile of women who are saying yes to things that don't serve them because they feel like they have to, they feel like they should, they feel like they're not seen or heard.

And a lot of this goes way back. You know, this is like cultural, this is like genetic. This is like all these things, but even this podcast and I know Ashley's work too. It's like, it's all about showing you, you really are worthy and you really can have whatever it is that your, your, your heart is yearning for, but you have to choose it and you have to know that you're worthy of it.

And that's what I think a lot of women struggle with is they don't feel worthy, but we were born worthy. Yes. Came out of that womb. A hundred percent.

We're not worthy to have whatever we are desiring to have. And, you know, for you, like your road, just even with motherhood is very different than a lot of women and what they go through. But there are also all of those women who are like, my gosh, I feel seen. I feel heard.

Like I know those pains. I felt those pain. Yeah. So today, how are you, like, how are you dealing with everything?

And what would you say to the mom who is, you know, she's feeling overwhelmed. She doesn't feel like she's worthy. She's, she might be like, why am I not getting a baby or why do I have babies that are a year apart? And I can't get out of this chaos.

Right. I would say, I think just kind of figure out what it is that you need to do. And really, of course, I'm all about really finding just joy and like mundane tasks that we do every single day. But really it is, you know, are you going to wish that you had done something a year ago, or are you going to be glad that you did it?

You know, are you going to be glad that you invested in yourself? Is it, is it getting into a program? Is it working with somebody to really find your inner voice or, you know, just, yeah, it's really that, that difference. I mean, it's, I think we have to learn to invest in ourselves and say yes to ourselves.

So it can get better. Your life, you know, we're meant to be here and to enjoy every single day. And so I just want every woman to know that and feel that. And, and, and when we're in those downfalls and those moments.

Moments where it doesn't feel so good. That's okay too. You know, it's, it's okay to feel it. Yes.

Let's talk about that for a minute. So often we are taught through society that we're supposed to be happy. And so when we're not happy, we think something's wrong with us instead of just owning that. It's okay.

Like you're going to have ups and downs, but you can enjoy life. Also a choice, very much also a choice. So often we're like, well, I have to take care of all these babies. I have to do dinner.

I have to figure out what I'm supposed to cook tonight. And I'm like, actually, no, you don't. You don't have to take care of your babies. You don't have to figure out what meal you're going to make.

You don't have to, like, there's all these things you actually don't have to do. You think you do, but you don't. You're choosing to because you've decided to take care of these babies. Yes.

You're choosing to because you want your family to be fed like good nutritional food. Like, so it's just like looking at it through that perspective. Yes. Very true.

And then finding joy in it. Like we can find joy anywhere if we want to. Yeah. And sometimes I find when I really don't want to do like, or I'm stuck with something, it's doing those tedious tasks that kind of unblock, you know, turning on some music and doing the dishes or doing the laundry.

You know, you don't want to do it, but when you kind of just realize you're doing what the bigger purpose is and you want your children to have your clothes folded, you want your clothes folded to put away, but it's like, there's something, I don't know, spiritual that can happen sometimes. When you just surrender and do those things and you're just kind of in the, you really have to be in the moment when you're doing them. Yeah. Another thing that I want women to like, think about doing more often is just pausing, reflecting, turning inward, taking the real time to be able to hear their own needs and wants and desires.

We're so good. We're so good at doing everything else for everyone else. We're not so good at accepting who we are. We're so good at accepting who we are and listening.

So with you turning inward and really surrendering, how has that looked like for you? Like, do you feel like you're more in tune? Do you feel like your life runs smoother? All of those things.

Yeah. I just feel a stronger sense of who I am. Like I feel more confident. I feel just higher self-esteem in the sense that I just feel more, I trust myself more because I'm not doing things for other people.

Yeah. I'm not doing things for other people per se. I mean, of course I'm doing things for other people. I'm taking care of the kids.

Yeah. Like I'm doing this out of love. Yes. But I'm, but I, you know, if I'm tired, I really listened to my body now.

Like I don't have to have the house, you know, perfect 24 seven. If I'm tired and I want to lay and play with my kids at night after a long day, and we've all been apart, I'm going to lay and play. And the dishes will get done either later that night or the next morning that I that's, that's, that's what works for me. So, and it's okay.

It's okay. Yeah. I think just kind of like saying goodbye to these like social norms, like you were just talking about, just all these rules. Yes.

Like, why are we using these roles? Right. Exactly. Yeah.

I call it. I call it the manual. Yeah. There's actually an episode about the manual.

So if you're tuning in and you're like, what is the manual? I'm going to explain it for one second. But this manual is yes, you need to listen to the podcast. So go search that, but we all have these manuals for what we think is supposed to be.

So we have manuals for ourselves where we've written it down very carefully. And if you have the word should happening a lot or have to happen a lot, or those, then you have this manual that you've created. That's not serving you. Yeah.

But you also have a manual for your partner, for your kids, for your mom, for, if you feel like they should have called me back, you've got a manual. Like, what if you let go of that, learn to press the pause button a little bit more. That's something that I am always working on because I'm naturally going 5,000 miles an hour and I'm not patient. So even for me, like learning how to do that and knowing that it's okay, the dishes don't really matter if you're all stressed out, dishes don't really matter if there's babies on the floor and babies is in all ages, children.

Okay. So even my, you know, my baby is 15 and he's still a baby to me. They're more important. You're more important than all of these goods and have tos and manuals we've created that really don't matter if they don't really serve us.

Right. Yeah. I love that. Yeah.

You summed that up perfectly. I know I'm interviewing you and I just keep talking your ear off. No, I love it. This is great.

I'm like, I love everything that you're saying. This is an awesome conversation. Okay. So you have a program too.

So let's talk about in this program, you talk a lot about boundaries and protecting yourselves from unhealthy people and relationships and guys, super important. Like you are a queen. You are worthy of whatever it is that you desire. I cannot stress that enough.

So if there are people in your life that are not being like, they're not vibing on your level. It's time to rethink those relationships really like period the end, but Ashley has this program, this workshop that she calls SOAR for pregnancy centers. Can you tell us a little bit more about this program? Yeah.

So I'm really excited about this and this is really for any individuals, but the main focus is for clients at pregnancy centers, because whenever I did get pregnant, I had to use government assistance. I had, I had to use the pregnancy center. And the, and the college town that I was in, but I always felt like there was not this space where I could like be around elevated people. And then maybe that's not the right type of language, but to see people that were really achieving more one and more had big desires and dreams on their heart.

So that's what I want to instill in these women that, you know, right now they're just going through this pivotal transitional moment and I want them to see that they can soar. They literally can fly. Like they're going to get through this transition in their, in their space. So it's going to be one, one hour each week, the first four weeks in November, you know, the first week we're really going to be looking at situations, just kind of breaking down and just start kind of thinking about really what's going on in somebody's life.

The following week is going to be opportunities, what, you know, what you can change, what you can get rid of action, just really helping you kind of lay out your action plan and your mind and your mindset. I have a positive psychologist that she's going to be featured that week and coming on and doing her training and working her magic just in that, in that area. And then the last week is really just releasing. You know, just releasing and kind of just shedding what you need to, just to close 2022 strong and then really just kind of vision cast and look to 2023, what you're going to achieve and, and really dream big.

I mean, whenever I was young, I mean, I've always been very visual with my dreams, had the dream board whenever I got remarried and, you know, went through that whole process. I think it's so key just in seeing what we can have. And then when we start really getting into the habit of practicing our goals and writing things down and visualizing and seeing things. That's where we can really make some bigger changes to get, you know, to get to where we want to go.

So I'm really hoping to just, I don't know, showcase that to women that might not see that type of material, you know, or might not be super exposed to it. And so just to kind of really show them the potential, what they have within them and just ultimately just let them fly. So, yes, it sounds amazing. I love, I love the name soar.

It's like, Hmm, that's yeah. I, I, yeah, it kind of came to me one day. I was like, I know. I want to soar too.

I'm like, I, I, I really, whenever I'm trying to put together programs, I want something that I would have wanted to have, you know, in my early twenties, you know, somebody that's early in their career, even just throughout my career. I mean, when somebody's dealing with a pregnancy, it's just hard. It can be hard and it can really just cut. You could just go into shock when you see those two blue lines, but just when, you know, I, and not in a bad way, it's just life changing, life changing.

You know, you're saying the bite of having, you might be saying bye to having bruisey, boozy brunches with your girlfriends and you got to get ready, you know, for this next chapter. It's truly life changing. When I was, so I have three kids as well. Yeah.

And I was told that I couldn't get pregnant without going down the road of infertility and all that. So that's my plan. Like that was, that was the plan is that I didn't know if I'd be able to have children, but when I decided to, we would figure that out. Well, I did get pregnant.

Doctor was wrong. Yeah. I had my bookends. So three kids in four years.

So I feel your pain. Oh my gosh. Like, yes. I was like, I have a big baby, a little baby and a toddler.

This is hard. But so, yes, I'm honest with my kids. I'm like, I love you all, but yes, none of you were planned. Not one of you.

Like, I love you, but this rocked my world and it's okay. Yes. Now it's rocking my world in a whole new way because it's amazing because they're so close. It's so fun.

You know, it's like rocking my world in a good way, but we still can be, we're not just moms. I hate the word, just mom. You know, when people are like, I'm just. I'm like, no, being a mom is amazing, but also that's not all you are.

You're so much more, so much more. I love that. Yeah. You do.

You hear that a lot. Yes. People just kind of forget. They just identify as a mom and they lose themselves.

And that's why you, you see them showing up on, on shows to have a, you know, a model, a redo on everything. You know, they just want to change everything because they've just lost themselves. So yeah, I think, yeah, really doing the internal work and just, it just. Yeah.

It makes all the difference to just really, just to recalibrate with themselves and get back in touch. So that's why I love listening to you. Love what you're up to, because I know you're changing a lot of women's lives and it's just awesome. That is awesome to be here.

Yes. It's just, yeah. Yeah. That is the plan.

It's the continued plan is to just show women what their worth is, show them how they can continue to show up in their power. Let go of the people pleasing. A lot of us do it. I'm still a recovering people pleaser myself.

And yeah, it's a, it's a good choice. You have to make every single day. Does this actually serve me? Yeah.

So with your workshop, we're going to have all of this in the show notes. Sounds amazing. Having these women learn how to tune inward and go through the steps. So yes, that's all going to be in the show notes and we'll have all your information in there.

But before we wrap up, can you tell us one more bit of little advice, like a little nugget of wisdom? Um, you'd want to share with my audience before we say goodbye. Ooh, that is a great question. My goodness.

What would be my one nugget of information? I think really just, just making a choice today. Like what making small decisions I think is really the key. So whenever I started to really make changes in my life, it was baby steps.

It's baby steps. Sometimes it is making the first, you know, it's a consultation to talk to somebody like you, you know, getting a coach, really working with somebody it's going for a walk. You know, maybe it's, it's that five minute walk, you know, down to your driveway. Or, and you know, for me, it was the entrance of my subdivision and back, you know, just building on whatever, wherever you're at in your life, it is just a baby step.

Like we can't, we're not, we didn't get to this place that we're at right now overnight. You're not going to fix everything overnight. It's going to be a process. So just take the first step and take the baby steps and they will build, they will build up.

So a year from now, you'll be glad that you did it. Brick by brick. Yes. That is how Rome was built.

Yeah. And it took a very long time. We're not saying it's going to take you that long. But we are saying brick by brick.

I love it. Thank you so much for being on the podcast and for having me so excited for your new workshop. That's coming up. I hope it's like the most amazing success ever.

And guys, if you're tuning in and you're like, I need a little tune up, I need, I want to soar, you know where to go. So check out all of her information in the show notes and we will see you guys next week. Bye. Thank you.

Hey. If you enjoyed listening to this podcast, then you've got to come check out my signature program at Thrive Camp. This is where we do real coaching and inner work transformation. I teach you how to apply the strategies and mindset tools we talk about here on the podcast so you can unlock your true potential and create the life you love.

For more info, go to amysanders. co forward slash thrive dash camp. Again, that's amysanders. co forward slash thrive.

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