Handling The Holidays With Ease

taking time to express your feelings and all of the anxious like being able to sleep or feeling irritable or hopeless or all of these things not able to face your routine chores like if you're feeling this way like it's just too much it might be time to just seek a little bit of help and that's okay welcome to the thrive her podcast i'm your host amy sanders i'm a fitness and wellness pro mom stepmom second wife and master certified life coach i'm here to help you manage your mind so you can uncover the most potent version of yourself and create a thriving life you love hello guys we are full swing in the holiday season i literally can't even handle it because i feel like 2022 just started and we are wrapping up the holiday season and we are wrapping up the holiday season and we are wrapping up the holiday season and we are wrapping up the holiday season and we are wrapping it up i literally can't believe it i keep looking back thinking what happened this year and then as i go through i'm like well yeah so a lot has happened this year in my life and with my family and so many things but as you all know the holidays can be a really stressful time of year for lots of reasons the holidays are reminders about family that they might not see the holidays can be triggering for a lot of people you see people family members friends lots of social gatherings you may have resistance or harsh feelings towards a certain family member there are so many reasons where we might have a lot of stress we might feel like we can't do it we might struggle and so this episode is some things you can do to prevent stress and some of those emotions that come during the holiday but before we get into it i want to remind you that how you perceive the holidays is up to you everything that you think you should or should not do is actually up to you so go into the season thinking about that like is does this actually serve me or not and that's where we're starting our episode today is acknowledging your feelings so it might be that someone close to you has died or you're going through a divorce or maybe there's some sort of sadness from something that you were experiencing or something that you were experiencing with grief and pain it's okay to cry and express your feelings it's okay to own them and recognize them and listen to them i want you to your feelings are valid and the holidays can trigger those and so if you keep them bottled up and if you don't express them and if you don't feel them you're going to be more edgy you're going to be more stressed out you are going to release that emotion in another way because your body wants to release the emotions it doesn't like to keep them inside when you keep your emotions inside it's trapped energy so you have to let it out you have to acknowledge it and you have to just give yourself all of the permission to acknowledge and fill your feelings it is okay i know that for me when i'm just fully in it to be totally honest i had probably a two-hour cry session yesterday because of some things that i'm personally dealing with and i felt like the world was over yesterday i mean i just it was hard and i was just crying i feel so much better today and i know it's because i released those emotions so this is me on my pedestal on my giving my ted talk fill all of your emotions acknowledge them realize them allow them they will help you get through the holidays with more ease the second thing i want to talk about is reaching out to people so the holidays can be a really lonely time for a lot of people you can feel alone you can feel isolated so if that is you take the initiative to go seek community go to religious or social events communities anything that's going on go be a part of it if you're one of those people who are feeling lonely now if you are not be aware of people who might be feeling lonely be aware of people who are feeling lonely and be aware of people who are feeling lonely be aware of what other people might be going through and how you can help them what is it that you can do to invite someone to then be part of your festivities your holiday season how can you lighten someone else's load reach out i'm telling the person who's alone to reach out so that they don't have to feel lonely and i am telling the person who has a whole community of people to be mindful and reach out to someone who might not have what you have also talk about your feelings talk about your stresses talk about what's going on with the people in your life so that they can help carry your burden and they can be an outlet and a strength to you that can be really helpful the third thing is i want you to be realistic be realistic the holidays don't have to be perfect and one year to the next things can be different for me this year i have a lot on my plate and i'm dealing with some family stuff so i'm going to talk to you about how you can be a part of your life and how you can be a part of your i didn't put out all of my holiday decorations and i was like and this is okay i usually throw this like massive holiday party with a bunch of couple friends of ours which i am still doing but all of the extra stuff that i do with this party i've let go of i'm not doing it and guess what the couples don't care all they want is to get together and fill that connection that we all have with each other so let go be realistic sometimes things change families grow families change traditions change be open to that you can hold on to a few that are dear to your heart and you can let go and release the ones that don't work for you and maybe this year you're just like this isn't for me this year maybe i don't want a massive christmas tree this year and i'm gonna go for something smaller maybe i don't want a christmas tree at all and that's okay maybe i don't want to go see this certain family member because of ill feelings we have towards each other that's okay it's okay so be realistic don't should all over yourself i should do this i should do that don't stress yourself out in areas you don't really need to be stressed out the fourth one i think i have 10 by the way that i'm sharing with you today the fourth one is set aside differences so going back to family members that i just brought up what if you just looked at the good things with some of the family members that there might be conflict between and you go into those situations and with no expectations of how this person's going to be you just set aside the differences and you accept your family members and friends just as they are let go of the expectations if you show up that way you're going to have a much better time and you're going to be able to love and ultimately love is the greatest gift being able to love is the greatest gift you can give yourself just allowing love also you don't know what other people are going through you don't know and so if they are you know short with you or they are they say something mean like you you have no idea they might be feeling the holiday stress they might be depressed they might there might be a ton of things going on with them and that's not even about you or has anything to do with you so just set aside the differences it's okay to agree to disagree and just be okay with it the fifth is around finances so the holidays can also bring up a lot of stress because of how expensive they are so if you're a family member and you're a family member and you're a family member and you're a family member and you're a family member and you're a family member now I want to offer you that you don't actually have to have a really expensive time of year if you don't want to that's a choice you're choosing to buy presents for people you're choosing to spend the amount of money that you're spending on people so what if you just decided on a budget and you stuck to that budget before you start buying all the things and the food and you know and decide ahead of time how much you can afford and you're not going to be able to just stick to it how much less stress would that give you if you just did that just a little reminder is that happiness doesn't come from gifts happiness comes from within and usually that happens from connection connecting to the people that you love showing them that you care now giving a gift might be a way that you're showing them that you care but a lot of times it's just that connection for them to see that you see them you love them you're serving them those are things that you can do six is to plan ahead of time so a lot of times we get super stressed out because we leave things to the last minute what if you planned ahead you set aside specific days that you're going to shop specific times you're going to shop you set aside specific times you're going to connect with your friends and do all the other activities and ask yourself what are other ways that I can simplify can I order this online can it be delivered to my house can food be delivered to my house sometimes it's worth the few extra bucks to have food but it's worth the extra bucks to have food delivered right to your house for me that was actually a complete game changer I was like are you kidding me having groceries delivered to my house having Costco get dropped off at my house so I don't have to go through that massive warehouse and then have it all put in the boxes and then the boxes I have to put in the back of my trunk and then I have to unload it now Costco comes to my front porch and I walk from my front porch to my kitchen it's like the most amazing thing so guess what if you haven't tried that it's worth every single penny but you can plan ahead with your shopping and with all the different things that you're doing look for ways that you can simplify and make it easier ultimately ultimately what we want to do during the holidays is enjoy them with the people that we love ultimately that is the goal right so how are you going to do that it's not going to be achieved by stressing yourself out so plan ahead the seventh one which is probably one of the most important ones is learn to say no this is something that I continue to do and I'm going to continue to do it and I'm going to continue to do it continually I'm working on because I'm a recovering people pleaser and I teach other people how to learn how to not please so much but it's okay to say no say yes to the things that you want to say yes to and say no to the things that you don't want to do when you say yes when you really don't want to it leaves you feeling resentful and overwhelmed who wants that during the holidays why do we want to feel resentful or overwhelmed and honestly the person that you're serving if you say yes when you actually don't want to then you're having these ill feelings towards them and it's most likely they don't even know they're most likely fine if you say no so be okay to say no people are usually understanding I like to believe that the majority of people are good people they will listen like if you can't do it they're going to be okay with that they'll just go ask someone else or figure it out it's okay so learn how to say no eight is don't abandon your healthy habits a lot of times during the holidays we're like oh it's a guilt-free free-for-all eat whatever we want overindulge and all of the cookies and the gingerbread blah blah like all the things right and we overindulge and then we have more stress and more guilt we've gained weight we feel yucky our body's not functioning on all cylinders and so I want to offer you to not abandon healthy habits keep your healthy habits sure you can have some of the stuff through the holidays that's part of the holidays sure do it but have limits ask yourself does this serve me is this something I actually want to eat does this serve me do I actually want to skip my workout today or am I just being lazy and chalking it up to the holidays so really think about that you can easily have a healthy snack before you go eat some massive holiday meal so you don't go overboard on all the sweets and things eating healthy meals and getting plenty of sleep is what also is going to help you get through the holidays for me I'm going to have a healthy snack before I go eat some if I don't get my workout in I am a different person that workout is a reset for me every single morning so that is like a firm I don't want to say boundary but kind of that I have I do my workout however with that being said if there's days where I'm really tired that workout might look different might be yoga might be something that's a little more loving on my body but do the things that are going to help you keep your healthy habits instead of flying off the handle along healthy habits you can be healthy you can be healthy you can be healthy you can be you can do deep breathing you can do meditation yoga all of these things let go of overindulging and alcohol and all these other types of substances that can leave you feeling yucky that don't serve you and could cause I don't know a little more holiday stress depending on how much you consume so look at what you can do to keep your healthy habits number nine is take a breather make time for yourself what are the activities that you enjoy and how can you do them throughout the holidays even if it's just 15 minutes alone how different would your holiday season look if you took a 15 minute time out of all the stress and chaos to breathe to be with you to take care of you taking care of you is the greatest gift you can give yourself during the holiday season 15 minutes without distractions like just refresh you enough to be able to handle all of the things that you need to do it's going to help you decrease your stress it's going to help you come back with a clear mind and you're going to be able to do a lot of things that you want to do and it's going to help restore that inner calm some things that are some options that I like to do is you could take a walk at night and stargaze just take a walk take a breather you can listen to some soothing music for me the last couple weeks I've taken a lot of hot baths and it has been really relaxing I put some like essential oils in my bath and I just sit in there for as long as I need to yesterday I told you about my cry sesh after I got done I just stared I didn't have the tv on I was completely disconnected and I just stared at my Christmas tree for like a good 20 minutes if anyone was walking by they probably been like what in the heck is she actually doing but it was calming for me it was something that I needed it to just be and I allowed it and I believe that's why I'm doing so much better today so give yourself that permission it might be that you just enjoy reading so read the book read the book that you haven't read and number two I'm going to give you a little bit of advice I'm going to give you a little bit of advice number 10 is if things are too much maybe you need to seek some professional help that's what I'm here for coaching you might need a therapist you might need to like sometimes even a friend is okay you know but taking time to express your feelings and all of the anxious like being able to sleep or feeling irritable or hopeless or all of these things not able to face your routine chores like if you're feeling this way like it's just too much it might be time to just seek a little bit of help and that's okay I know that for me doing the mindset work has been so life-changing it's been so relieving to know that I do and can have control over my life and I don't have to allow certain behaviors into my life I don't have to allow me to betray my own self that's what I used to do I would just say yes to everyone regardless of how I really felt about it and truthfully I still people ask me a lot of questions about my life and I don't have to be like are you totally done does this ever come up for you anymore and I'm like yes it still does but that's why I talk to people I literally have my own therapist and my own coach all the time and I'm a coach so I'm offering you the same thing you can do that if you feel like you need to talk to someone get the help you need so that you can get through the holidays so you can get through 2022 successfully so let me just recap everything that we just went over so the first of 10 is acknowledge your feelings second is reach out to those if you're feeling lonely or if you know someone who might be lonely reach out be that person that's reaching out number three is be realistic to what you want the holiday season to look like and that could mean that it's different than last year number four is set aside your differences when you are meeting with friends and family so that you can enjoy your time together number five is stick to a budget that'll also relieve stress number six is plan ahead another way to relieve stress number seven is learn to say no so that you are authentically being true to yourself eight is don't abandon healthy habits nine is take a breather take some time for yourself and ten is seek that professional help if you so need it the holidays don't need to be something that you dread you can take certain steps to prevent them from being more stressful and that's what I'm hoping this episode will be about so I hope you will be to you so look at the holidays as a good thing not as ways to where you can get triggered or have things downward spiral learn what your holiday triggers are and move through solutions to those triggers so that you can enjoy the holidays I truly hope that you do have an amazing holiday season and I am here wishing you the most happy joyful holiday season you can have from me to you thanks for tuning in and I will be back here next week next week with another episode happy holidays bye-bye hey if you enjoyed listening to this podcast then you've got to come check out my signature program at thrive camp this is where we do real coaching and inner work transformation I teach you how to apply the strategies and mindset tools we talk about here on the podcast so you can unlock your true potential and create the life you love for more info go to amysandage. com amysandage. co forward slash thrive dash camp again that's amysandage.